tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68957237617697881452024-03-21T13:24:14.235-04:00The Almost Film CriticA blog of my inner most thoughts on film and movies. Here, I will discuss great movies, diss bad ones and argue about movies in between. I will talk about movies new & old, stuff my generation loves (and why most of the time they are insane) and defend my DVD shelf to the death. Please enjoy and comment to your heart's desire. Thanks.
Twitter: @almostflmcriticAlmost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-23766715392801563132017-10-17T11:15:00.001-04:002017-10-17T11:15:59.645-04:00A Woman's Perspective: Professor Marston & the Wonder Women <p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">The opening frame of a movie lays down the tracks for the picture to travel on. This includes on-screen text. Remember Inglourious Basterds? The first image we see after the credits is the text “Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France…”, giving the viewer the impression that Quintin Tarantino has crafted what he considers to be a fairy tale. When the climax of the movie happens, it works despite the historical inaccuracy. Under this logic, a movie starting with “Based on a True Story…” you need to be as accurate as possible. Unfortunately this movie is as close to the true story as the ones you read in the National Enquirer. Writer/director Angela Robinson intentionally avoided talking to any of the family members and instead cites an unnamed source for the basis of the polyamorous scenes in this movie. If I weren’t told this movie was about the origin of Wonder Woman only to be given a wholly inaccurate telling of that origin, I’d probably be writing a different review. If this movie were written by a man, I could probably write off the things that bothered me the most.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I went into the theater hoping for a feminist movie that made me feel powerful and proud. Instead, what I received was a poor representation of polyamory similar to the poor representation of BDSM in 50 Shades. I’m a big believer in polyamory. I think when both partners agree it’s best for them it can be an amazing and beautiful thing. While there is no solid proof that this was polyamory and not just polygamy, I can understand wanting to make the family polyamorous. I would love to see a positive representation of a polyamorous family. Instead we see a wife who can never decide what she wants. While Elizabeth is trying to be a strong woman and a great feminist, she can’t handle when Olive wants something she doesn’t understand or agree with. Instead of being a woman encouraging her husband to write a new comic book character that uses love over force, Elizabeth, who was the one that told her husband to make the character female, is a nagging wife that doesn’t believe it’s a good idea at all. The constant negative representation of a strong woman in Elizabeth is probably what frustrates me the most. Rebecca Hall plays Elizabeth so well but I want her to be given a better character to play. I want to see this writer/director write her own original stories because all the actors really did their best for her. I could go on forever with criticisms of Elizabeth and just how disappointing the Wonder Woman parts are but I’ll spare you. For now.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If this movie focused on DISC theory, I might love this movie. Elizabeth is very dominant throughout the movie and when she gives into to what other people want, it is often compliance. Olive is the perfect example of someone being submissive, induced by this couple to give into her wildest fantasies.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There are so many more things I could nitpick. I laughed when his lung cancer was made way too obvious and in a somewhat slapstick way. One of the positive reviews I read (in an attempt to convince myself I was wrong) incorrectly described the most visually appealing scene in this movie and I think that says it all. When the positive reviews rewrite the movie itself to set a character (Elizabeth) in a more positive light, something has gone horribly wrong. Revisionist nostalgia for a movie should not hit you that quickly. My husband also hated this movie but more for it being a cookie cutter Oscar Bait picture. The only movie I liked less this year was A Ghost Story and I don't believe it could get worse than those two.</p>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-36795462367543354582017-10-09T22:52:00.003-04:002017-10-10T13:23:27.731-04:00Review: Blade Runner 2049<div class="MsoNormal">
People
usually cry while watching movies for two reasons: they’re happy that the
central couple have overcome their difference & fallen in love or they’re
sad because a beloved character is meeting a heroic end before the journey is
complete. Then, there’s a recent discovery I made about myself (and I hope I’m
not alone on this): I cry after movies that I find to be marvelous. Some motion
pictures are so spectacular that a verbal response is not enough to express the
magnitude to which I am overwhelmed with joy. That reaction has happened to me
three times in my life: 2011’s Hugo, 2015’s Spotlight and 2017’s Blade Runner
2049.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would
usually summarize the movie I’m reviewing in this paragraph but Warner Brothers
& Sony have asked that we don’t mention certain plot elements so I’m just
going to say that Harrison Ford does return as Deckard & Ryan Gosling is
the titular Blade Runner. Now, onto my unfiltered praise of Blade Runner 2049.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are
few motion pictures that are as gorgeous as this one. The most impressive thing
you’ll notice is the individual color palates designed for each of the separate
locations. The dazzling blue & purple of rainy downtown Los Angeles gives
it a look of hopeful despair. The police station has a black & white
aesthetic gives the proceedings a more serious turn. The halls of the Wallace
Corporation have this grand gold tint to them, showing off the success &
wealth of the company. My personal favorite are the opening shots of the Vegas
sequence, which tweaks the Wallace gold & adds brown & orange to create
dazzling works of art that deserve to be hung next to your family photos. Kudos
goes out to the entire set design team & legendary cinematographer Roger
Deakins, who if he doesn’t win at the Oscars this year there might be a coup.
The sound design rocks the theatre in a good way and the score by Hans Zimmer
& Benjamin Wallfisch pays homage to Vangelis when warranted while holding
its own a vast majority of the time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dazzling
visuals only go so far. A movie needs to have a compelling story. There will be
some who say Blade Runner 2049 is too slow. That is true but screenwriters
Hampton Fancher (co-writer of the 1982 original) & Michael Green (Logan,
Murder on the Orient Express) make it deliberate & delicate. There are
reasons we spend so much time w/ K & Joi. We linger on a scene in Wallace
Corp with a new replicant model because every scene has its place. These kinds
of scenes also invite future viewings to see just how complex & deep the
themes go. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blade
Runner K is in about 95% of the movie so whoever was to play him would have to
be the rock to keep the picture stable & Gosling is more than up to the
task. It’s not his best nor his most Oscar worthy performance but Gosling able
to add just enough facial complexities to K. Ford shows that he still has “it”
& still cares about the performances he gives. Leto is weird per usual but
also effective in his genius role.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live in
the era where the female badass reigns & Blade Runner 2049 might have the
best on this side of Furiosa. Sylvia Hoeks plays Luv with an elegance that
many bigger names couldn’t pull off while also being the CEO of Wallace and the
“Head of Security”. K’s boss in the LAPD is Lt. Joshi played by Robin Wright
who couldn’t give a bad performance these days if she tried. There are three
other actresses who are great in their roles but describing them would probably
spoil too much. Ana de Armas plays Joi, Mackenzie Davis is Mariette and Carla
Juri plays Dr. Ana Stelline.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of this
is supervised by Denis Villeneuve, whose two previous films Sicario &
Arrival are beloved by everyone but yours truly. This feature, however, makes
me question why I’ve been hesitant about looking into more of his work. Villeneuve
has created something that not only expands on the ideas of 35 years ago but
also makes them accessible to those who are patient enough to let the movie work
on them. Those who make it all the way to the end are rewarded with an ending
that is not just a delight for the eyes but for the mind, heart & soul.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From this
point forward, when I refer to cinema as art, Blade Runner 2049 will be my
first example. There is a picturesque elegance to it that bigger or more Oscar-y
features could never touch. The sprawling screenplay heightens an already
expansive world into a dystopian wonderland. The acting, especially by the
women you don’t see in any marketing, is sublime. I’m calling it: I will not
see a better movie in 2017 than this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*****</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-51817079748882904472017-09-23T10:22:00.003-04:002017-09-23T12:42:52.282-04:00Review: Kingsman: The Golden Circle<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Kingman: The Golden Circle plays out
the third entry of an unplanned trilogy. The first problem you’ll notice is
that this is only the second entry in the Matthew Vaughn-directed feature based
on the Mark Millar comic series. You get the sense from the opening 20 minutes
that Eggsy had done a series of competent adventures but nothing worth writing
home to his mother about. That in & of itself is not a criticism of the
movie but a reality I needed to grasp in order to enjoy the two hours to
follow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> But that arose a general problem I
have with this installment compared to its predecessor: I was totally confused
about some of the choices for the characters. Remember the Swedish princess
from the end of the 2015 installment? She’s here as Eggsy’s serious girlfriend.
Remember Roxy, the young lady who actually won the right to be in the Kingsmen?
Well…(spoiler but not spoiler)…she dies in the attack that is supposed to end
the Kingsmen about 20 minutes in. Remember their rich, douchey classmate who
ratted out the Kingsmen during training? He’s back as one the henchmen who
attacks Eggsy as the movie opens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As far as new characters go, they
are way more plentiful in quantity than they are in quality. The villain this
time around is Julianne Moore as The Golden Circle drug kingpin Poppy Adams
whose defining characteristic is her love of the 1950s. She lacks any of the
cheese that oozed out of the villain in the previous adventure. Moore shows
signs that she can be this diabolical character in her first scene but the rest
of her scenes don’t back that up. We also meet the American version of the
Kingsmen, the Statesmen, represented here by alcoholic names like Champagne
(“Champ” as he prefers) & Whiskey. Jeff Bridges’ Champ & Channing
Tatum’s Whiskey exist solely to let the audience know where the producers want
to go in the next adventure. I wouldn’t be shocked if Bridges were on set for
two days because that’s how easy his part is. Champ has about three scenes
& they’re all on the same set. The presence of Tatum is by far the most
disappoint aspect of The Golden Circle. He is in probably in six scenes, two of
which he’s frozen & a third he’s in the background dancing for about five
seconds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Vaughn’s frenetic style is still
there but there is missing something. The screenplay by Vaughn & frequent
co-contributor Jane Goldman is so jammed with new ideas that the sense of fun
is lost. There are action scenes that try to replicate the joy last time but
only the injection of a certain superstar entertainer can get it close to that
level. The final showdown between our protagonists & the unsuccessfully
established second villain tries to be the church scene from the last movie but
the insanity is only turned up to 6 instead of the 11 it needed to be. The
mission goes all over the world from a dull shootout in the Italian Alps to
some uncomfortable moments in Glastonbury. Those who accuse this series as misogynist
won’t get an argument from me after the tent scene about 35 minutes in. There
are so many little moments here that don’t work. In particular, there is an
emotional death scene at the beginning of the third act that goes on too long
with a song whose inclusion makes no sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As far as the actors go, Taron Egerton
is still just fine as Eggsy. His thick cockney accent still gets on my nerves. However,
Mark Strong is still solid as Merlin. The worst kept secret in Hollywood, Colin
Firth returns as Harry/Galahad & is his usual great self. Halle Berry is
the only member of the Statemen that works as her Merlin-equivalent Ginger Ale
has a full arc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Kingsman: The Golden Circle can be
summed up by the set direction of the villain’s hideout. Vaughn & company
went all out on the 1950s period detail. It looked exactly like the utopias
you’ve seen on the best nostalgic pictures. But once the doors of the diner or
the bowling alley or the salon were opened, you found the emptiness of the
story. To the left, there were the boring villains from the
not-over-the-top-enough Julianne Moore to the didn’t-want-to-see-again failed
Kingsman Charlie. To the right, you had the disappointing new additions the
Statesmen included an under-utilized Jeff Bridges & a criminally sidelined Channing
Tatum. And right in front of you, you get too many uncomfortable moments many
complained about & not enough of the grizzly, fun action beats the first
time around. A sad way to start the fall.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">**</span></div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-64802285105572627032017-09-03T15:04:00.002-04:002017-09-03T15:04:32.368-04:00The Good, The Ehhh and The Ugly of Summer 2017<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Good<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. All Things Wonder Woman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What can be
said about Patty Jenkins’ first theatrical outing in 14 years that hasn’t been
said already? Some said an early cut was a mess. Some said it would bomb.
Others believed it would have the DCEU’s smallest opening. A select few even
wondered why Gal Gadot had shaved armpits for crying out loud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what
are they saying now? The film critic community loved it. Theatre owners loved
the increased concessions sales. Warner Brothers went crazy for the $800+
million worldwide gross. Girls, both the young & the young at heart,
cheered as they saw their heroine come out of the box swinging. Comic book bros
were (mostly) quieted by what they saw on screen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for
yours truly, a CBM skeptic if there ever was one, I was astonished by the
entire 140 minutes. Gal Gadot went into a gear she never displayed in any of
her previous work. She feels so comfortable in that armor. Jenkins’ direction
& the writing of Geoff Johns provide the excellent crescendo for Diana (and
Gadot by extension) to rise from princess into warrior. But she is not without
help. With his role as Steve Trevor, Chris Pine should finally get that final
boost needed for him to be considered a star. The chemistry between Gadot &
Pine is electric. Their first two scenes of just them talking (the hot springs
& the boat) are so natural you’d swear they’ve known each other for years.
The rest of the cast from the powerful Connie Neilsen & Robin Wright to the
always reliable Lucy Davis & David Thewlis create an ensemble that would
rival any other created this year. Most criticism is placed on the now-typical
big & loud CBM ending. I would argue that even though the villains are a
bit on the slight & cartoony side, the climax is the only time WW goes into
full CBM mode with big, major set piece.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What we are
left with is the best movie of the summer, the best summer blockbuster in years
& a financial success beyond comprehension.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Logan Lucky</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was
familiar territory for Oscar winning director Steven Soderbergh. He’s done
heist movies before with his Ocean’s Trilogy. But those movies weren’t as
exciting or as fun or as funny as this. Logan Lucky follows the exploits of
Jimmy Logan, an unemployed former football star, as he leads a team of small
town “experts” as they attempt to burgle Charlotte Motor Speedway during the
Coca-Cola 600. Each member of the team is unique. You have the wounded war vet
turned one-armed bartender. You have the incarcerated improvised ballistics expert.
All these characters & more all set out to get the American Dream.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. All Things Baby Driver</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Sony
moved Edgar Wright’s newest flick from the August 11<sup>th</sup> to June 28<sup>th</sup>,
I was skeptical. Not of the picture itself but of the strategy behind the move.
August was wide open outside of the potential blockbuster The Dark Tower (which
Sony didn’t need to worry about after all). Why release any movie targeted
towards the prime demographic (males aged 15-34) five days after the 5<sup>th</sup>
Transformers movie & nine days before the newest reboot of Spider-Man? It
turns out we needn’t worry: the people came to the tune of almost $200 million
worldwide on a $34 million production budget, making it one of the few movies
to show a profit this summer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for the
movie itself, I have to defend my position on it. First & foremost, I liked
it but didn’t love it. I enjoyed to inventiveness of the action sequences. I
loved the smart, fresh dialogue and the small interactions between Baby &
his caretaker. I liked most of the characters, especially Baby’s fellow
criminal cohorts. So, why didn’t I love this movie like everyone else? First,
the gimmick of having every action sequence be choreographed to a piece of
popular music wore off especially when it bled into mundane acts like opening a
car door. Secondly, I didn’t feel that the Debora was developed enough as a
character. Outside of those two mild pieces, Baby Driver was quite the
satisfying experience in the middle of this dull summer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. The Big Sick</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kumail
Nanjani & Emily Gordon have such a unique love story that they wanted to
tell us about it. Boy, am I happy they did. Their semi-autobiographical look at
their story pulls the heartstrings in every direction possible so often that
one might wonder if their heart might stop under protest. We meet Kumail as an
up-and-coming comic who gets heckled by young Emily in the audience. They soon
hit it off & have what they perceive to be a one night stand. Meanwhile,
Kumail is being pressured by his parents to find a suitable Pakistani wife,
just like his brother. Soon, his profession & personal worlds are turned
upside down as Emily goes into a coma and Kumail is forced to meet &
entertain her parents for the first time. What The Big Sick gives us is a story
about the hopes & dreams of two separate cultures and how creating the
American Dream in the melting pot that is Modern America is difficult &
sometimes can tear family bonds. Nanjani (as “himself”) & Zoe Kazan are
great as the central couple but the movie is almost stolen from them by Ray
Ramano & Holly Hunter as Emily’s parents. The Big Sick is that special
Sundance hit that the world needs in the middle of every summer in between all
those overblown blockbusters to settle the stomachs of the movie-going public
and it succeeded critically & commercially.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 @ the Box Office</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This sequel
to the surprise hit of 2014 was supposed to be the biggest movie of the summer
of 2017. While it didn’t get that title this year, it wasn’t because it was a
disappointment. A $390 million domestic & an $860 million worldwide gross
is nothing to laugh at for these characters who aren’t as well known as most
comic book heroes with their own movie franchises.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. Captain Underpants</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the
surface, Captain Underpants looks to be made for the lowest common denominator:
little children & childish tweens. But once the lights went down, we were
treated to a fable about the power of imagination & creativity. Best
friends George & Harold use a magical decoder ring to turn their
authoritarian school principal Benjamin Krupp into their comic creation,
Captain Underpants. Don’t you hate it when that happens?! Captain Underpants,
with the illusion of superpowers & with a office curtain as a cape, must
face off against the diabolical Professor Poopy Pants & his plot to take
over the world using giant toilets.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Childish
& bathroom humor are prevalent throughout but heart is never far behind.
The animation style is never revolutionary nor did it try to be but what there
was was expertly faithful to the source material as possible. Each of the voice
actors is great in their own way with Nick Kroll getting the highest marks as
the absurd villain. One can only hope that we are treated to another
installment but with the moderate box office success, I’m not getting my hopes
up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Upper Limbo<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spider-Man Homecoming Box Office</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With its
$325 million domestic take, this Spider-Man adaptation was surely boosted by
the presence of Tony Stark after the previous installment disasterous
post-opening weekend run. So why am I not 100 % positive about this? The
international numbers are down significantly ($500 million vs $418 million),
showing the possibility of Spider-Man fatigue. Marvel & Sony need to tread
lightly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Eh…<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Atomic Blonde</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Based on a
graphic novel, Atomic Blonde is the story of an MI6 agent who is tasked with
reclaiming a list of undercover agents before it gets into the wrong hands. The
first 60% of the pic nearly all style with a sliver of overstuffed substance.
Taking place in 1989 Berlin, you see & feel 1989 Europe all around you.
Old, dirty buildings on the outside with all the neon pink & yellow the set
designer could find on the insides. The spy story gets too complicated &
jumbled too quickly that if you arrived on time you might miss something. But
once all that stuff got out of the way, Charlize Theron & the fight
choreography took over & never quit. There’s an “no cut” fight scene that
takes place in an apartment & stairwell that will rival any previous type
of scene in its precision & kill count. Theron continues to show she is
more than an pretty face. She is a bad ass of the highest order. If Atomic
Blonde were as exciting & pulse-pounding as the last 45 minutes, I could
whole heartedly recommend it. But as it exists, watch the first 10 minutes then
skip to the action scene above at about the 1:20 mark, sit back & enjoy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Guardians of the Galaxy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for the
movie itself, I have to be honest: it has been about two months since I watched
the picture, I don’t remember a thing I liked. I vividly remember sitting in
the theatre with popcorn in my lap, watching the images on the screen, enjoying
some of what I saw then the end credits started rolling, I stood up to yell at
some teenagers who fooled around the entire time & finally left. But I
can’t for the life of me remember a single specific thing I enjoyed about the
movie. I can tell you that the opening credits “fight” was an unwanted
distraction. I can remember thinking that the subplot revolving around the
spaceships piloted remotely deserved their own 95 minute movie & not just a
subplot in a 130 minute one. I remember the sneezing fit I had in the middle.
But GotGV2 is nothing but a typical forgettable entry in the MCU.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. The Mummy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll be
talking about the failures of numerous franchise or would-be franchise entries
a little later in the piece but here I want to talk about one that failed but
was not nearly as bad as most say it was. Universal Pictures’ Dark Universe has
the possibility of being something with the pedigree of acting talent they have
arranged. This franchise-starter was able to bring in Tom Cruise & Russell
Crowe for crying out loud. Cruise is the only reason why this movie isn’t a
disaster. In his 35 years in front of the camera, Cruise is never the reason a
movie is terrible & The Mummy is the best example of that. The movie is a
mess with its terrible Alex Kurtzman direction & special effects and an
overcooked screenplay. But Cruise makes the best of it as he runs from set
piece to set piece like a madman while I alone smiled the whole time. Crowe
hams it up as Jekyll/Hyde but everyone else is given nothing to do. A big missed
opportunity nonetheless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Trio of Three-quels</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What can be
said about Cars 3 and Despicable Me 3 that hasn’t been said already? Both are
new entries to animated franchises on the decline critically &
commercially. Both are movies that succeed in making my MoviePass subscription
worth it for seeing these. Cars 3 has a feminist angle that doesn’t work since
it isn’t all that feminist. DM3 has a brotherhood angle that doesn’t work since
the movie ends just as the movie got interesting. Both had small moments that
worked (Cars 3 looked like it wasn’t going to have a happy ending for a moment
while DM3’s villain was an interesting character for a while before blowing up
in our face). Both are so unworthy of continuing to be talked about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
War for the
Planet of the Apes, on the other hand, had the potential of finishing off as
one of the best cinematic trilogies. For half the runtime, it looked that way
as our protagonists ventured into the post-Simian Flu world. That excitement
came to a screeching halt once they encounter The Colonel & his ape prison.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Lower Limbo<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girls Trip</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me get
something off my chest: I laughed a few times during the first hour of Girls
Trip due to the sheer outrageousness of some of the proceedings. In the weeks
since, I’ve forgotten all the laughs. One big reason is that they weren’t all
that noteworthy. Another reason is that the movie devolves into a borefest
about the main character & her professional athlete husband’s marriage
& whether they can hold it together for a television deal. But my biggest
issue with Girls Trip is the character played by the breakout star of the
summer, Tiffany Haddish. Her Dina is played as if she’s a bonafide cartoon. She
is completely untethered to any possible reality this movie can offer, making
any believability in her character impossible. Combine that with an abrupt
half-ending, Girls Trip won’t make a place in my summer scrapbook.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Ugly<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Dunkirk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I freely
admit I am a crazy person. This is one of those times where I’m in the vast
minority. I found Dunkirk to be an empty attempt by virtuoso Christopher Nolan to
make his version of Gravity. I couldn’t find a single character to care about.
For more, check out <a href="http://almostfilmcritic.blogspot.com/2017/07/review-dunkirk.html" target="_blank">my review</a> elsewhere on this blog.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Victims of Sequel Fatigue & Franchise-itis</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Per usual,
this summer had its share of sequels & potential franchise starters. A
select few did well, most wearing capes & previously mentioned. The fifth
installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean did fairly well internationally
($620 million) to help Disney show a small profit for the summer. Most every
other franchise tanked and it started early with the disaster that was King
Arthur ($146 worldwide on a $175 million budget), which resembled the legend in
name only. The following weekend, Alien: Covenant ($74 million domestic) failed
as word got out as well. The weekend after that Baywatch ($58 million domestic)
attempted to pull a 21 Jump Street-type reboot but failed miserably. The fifth
Transformers installment crashed & burned domestically ($130 million) but
is still a thing elsewhere ($473 internation). Even the critically acclaimed
War for the Planet of the Apes suffered this summer ($144 domestic & $366
worldwide). But the two disasters waited until the disaster that was August.
The Dark Tower was supposed to start a multimedia universe but after critical
& commercial failure ($101 worldwide on a $60 million budget) that might
not happen. But at least Sony is in better shape than Open Road, who put all
their chips behind a sequel to an animated movie few saw to begin with. Now,
after The Nut Job 2 ($28.7 million worldwide on a $40 million budget), Open
Road is in dire straits.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. Comedy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside of
Girls Trip, comedy took a pounding this summer critically & commercially.
Heck, even I skipped most of them (I saw Rough Night only because of a drive-in
double feature with Baby Driver). In addition to the previously mentioned Baywatch,
Snatched ($46 million), Rough Night ($22 million) and The House ($25.5 million
after being hidden from critics) all failed miserably.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. The Emoji Movie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This thing
(it shouldn’t be confused with an actual movie) isn’t worth writing about any
further. Check out my review on this monstrosity elsewhere <a href="http://almostfilmcritic.blogspot.com/2017/07/review-emoji-movie.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Worst<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. A Ghost Story</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
David
Lowery’s A Ghost Story is the perfect example of a movie cinephiles are made
fun of for liking. Lowery, who made this in between commitments for last year’s
Pete’s Dragon remake, wrote & directed this to be as artistic &
ambiguous as possible. Unfortunately, what was projected is pretentious &
ambiguous until the final 15 minutes, which is balls-to-the-wall bizarre
leading to an abrupt, infuriating ending. Casey Affleck acts his heart out under
that giant bed sheet & Rooney Mara eats the heck out of a pie but all is
for naught.</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-5265489876333051372017-07-27T23:12:00.002-04:002017-07-27T23:12:33.540-04:00Review: The Emoji Movie<div class="MsoNormal">
The Emoji
Movie is about as funny, as unpredictable & as original as an episode of
Criminal Minds.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gene
(Miller) is the only son of two “Meh” Emojis & it’s his turn to join the
family business: as the “Meh” Emoji in a teenager’s phone. But Gene doesn’t know if he feels right for
the job. After a terrible first shift,
head emoji Smiler (Rudolph) decides he needs deleted. On the run with fellow outcast Hi-5 (Corden),
Gene soon meets Jailbreak (Faris), who says she can make him who he is meant to
be. What will that be?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The basic
outline for The Emoji Movie is ripped right out of Wreck-It Ralph. The whole movie takes place inside the world
of a generic smartphone. The lack of
cell phone company is only time Sony misses an opportunity for blatant product
placement. Early in the journey there’s
a four minute “adventure” in the kid’s Candy Crush Saga app, showcasing the
special levels you can actually play on your phone after the movie. (Just a heads up, the levels are easy enough
for the kid kicking your seat to beat on the first try.) The next significant scene takes place in the
Just Dance game app. Before the movie
ends, there are would-be touching scenes or should-be amusing gags involving
Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter & Spotify. The Emoji Movie using the Seltzer/Friedberg
method of hoping to produce laughs: humor by association. Director/co-writer Tony Leondis (Igor) thinks
that because you recognize familiar things you’ll laugh. Apart from from those gags, The Emoji Movie
also features forced & lame Dad Jokes & puns featuring cameos from all
your favorite Emojis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The movie
gets really tiresome really quick. Leading
the charge is Smiler, who is as conniving as a dead parrot. She has not master plan; her whole objective
is to keep the Emojis as a well oiled machine.
This lack of intrigue makes the finale all the more boring.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Emoji
Movie is cheap so-called entertainment featuring bad voiceover work, a stolen concept
& exactly one laugh. The movie does
accomplish one thing: It answers the question “Is there such thing as too much
James Corden?” The answer is yes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
½*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-46026719296858655992017-07-23T22:16:00.003-04:002017-07-23T22:16:51.727-04:00Review: Dunkirk<div class="MsoNormal">
As the end
credits rolled on Dunkirk, I sat there in shock & had to hold back
tears. I’ve cried in movies before but
this time felt different. Tears came not
because I was attached to the characters & their journey ending like with
Return of the King or Toy Story 3. Nor
did I cry tears of joy because what just transpired onscreen was so magical like
the Define Dancing sequence in Wall•E or Spotlight as a whole. Instead, it was profound sadness that I didn’t
feel the joy & the awe the rest of the audience felt as they left. Not even close.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the
shores of Dunkirk, we meet Tommy (Whitehead), a British private who survives
shooting in the streets of town, & the mysterious Gibson (Barnard) in their
desperate attempt to escape the beach.
On the sea, we follow Mr. Dawson (Rylance), his son Peter (Glynn-Carney)
and their young crewman George (Keoghan) aboard Moonstone on their journey to
Dunkirk to assist in the rescue effort.
In the air, three RAF pilots, led by Farrier (Hardy), are in charge of
providing air cover for the retreating Allied forces.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I walked
out of the theatre into the lobby & finally to my car, I staggered,
tripping over the carpet, dazed. I
honestly couldn’t believe what I had just watched. Essentially, I watched Christopher Nolan, who
has made such wonderful works as The Prestige & Inception, try to create
his own version of Alfonzo Cuaron’s Gravity.
Instead of one grand character to root for, Nolan - who also wrote the
screenplay- has created almost a dozen minor characters with no discernible characteristics
or full names. For instance, the two soldiers
on the ground spend most of the movie running from boat to boat, trying to
escape only to have every single ship blow up in their faces. After the third different boat explodes
without a discussion as to who these soldiers are, one might check out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The movie
also intercuts scenes of the crew of the Moonstone sailing. Then sailing some more. Then picking up Shivering Sailor (that is
literally his name in the end credits) before sailing towards Dunkirk some more,
against Shivering’s objections. During
these scenes, Sailor does exactly one thing of that can be considered a
relevant action that is so despicable towards another character that you feel
zero sympathy for him, despite the fact that he is supposed to represent the
thousands of shell shocked soldiers of Dunkirk.
But the worst of this subplot occurs at the end when Nolan allows
Shivering to get away with it without consequence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are
two characters that have the ability to hold the interest of the audience. The first is Farrier, who you feel actually
believes in his mission, in the soldiers on the shore & in his fellow
pilots. The second appears in one scene
in the final five minutes that is so heartbreakingly beautiful that I don’t
dare spoil it here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what I
will spoil is the defining moment where I knew for absolute certain that Dunkirk
was Nolan making his own, simpler version of Gravity. At the end of the movie, one of the leads is
reading Churchill’s <i>We Shall Fight on the
Beaches</i> speech from the newspaper as a closing voiceover. During the speech, we see Farrier attempting
to land the plane on a now-deserted Dunkirk beach as he runs out of fuel. (Oh…SPOILER
ALERT: most of the soldiers are rescued.
Sorry about that.) During this, the plane’s landing gear fails to
deploy, forcing Farrier to manually pump the wheels out before he loses altitude. This final scene shows that Nolan wasn’t
looking to make any sort of deep movie about the fragility of man or the
despair of war. He wanted to make a
simple, crowdpleasing thriller that played ticketbuyers’ eyes & ears instead
of their hearts & minds.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the real
Miracle of Dunkirk, the British Navy, along with hundreds of private seacrafts,
evacuated almost 350 thousand soldiers over an eight day stretch after the
Allies were defeated in an early battle in World War II. In the newest feature from acclaimed
filmmaker Christopher Nolan, he uses the events of Dunkirk to create a dazzlingly
empty suspense picture that features set piece after set piece with
occasionally grand visuals, spectacular noise that one might call sound effects
& bland, literally nameless characters.
It was a miracle I didn’t cry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-10821178682879222932017-04-15T17:51:00.003-04:002017-04-15T17:51:43.032-04:00Review: Gifted<div class="MsoNormal">
Frank Adler
(Evans) is dedicated to a simple life as a freelance boat repairman. He lives is a community of tiny shacks
outside of Tampa with his seven-year-old, math genius niece Mary (Grace). They have a nice friendship with their
neighbor Roberta (Spencer), who babysits Mary when Frank goes to his favorite
lakeside bar. He gets quite friendly
with Mary’s first grade teacher, Miss Stevenson (Slate). Life is fine until Frank’s mother Evelyn
(Duncan) barges in & tries to get the courts to bring her granddaughter,
who she has never met, to Boston for a “proper”, advanced education.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gifted is
the best movie about parenting this side of Ron Howard’s Parenthood a
quarter-century ago. Gifted is not about
young Mary. She is the match that lights
the fire that ignites the movie. This is
a movie about the fragility of childrearing.
Every choice you make as a parent, from which school they attend to the
type of ketchup they eat, will have long-term ramifications. We all know someone whose child is that
outstanding citizen or that one who doesn’t quite make it. Gifted is the perfect examination of the
latter. Evelyn Adler is, without mincing
words, a terrible person. Screenwriter
Tom Flynn (first theatrical credit since 1993’s Watch It) walks the fine line
between cartoonish evil & humanly evil but the script has its feet firmly
planted on the latter’s side. We all
know person who takes “helicopter parenting” a little too far and Evelyn fits
that definition to a T and Duncan excels in the role. It is pretty obvious that Frank is trying his
best but you can see in some of the smaller moments that he didn’t sign up for
this but he must give it 110% and Frank is game for trying.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gifted
relies way too much on the courtroom in the second act. Most of the drama here is expository &
Flynn uses the court system as a crutch.
Luckily, director Marc Webb (free from the constraints of studio
interference of The Amazing Spider-Man) makes sure the courtroom doesn’t
overtake the genuine family drama here.
Outside the courtroom, Gifted works as a heart-tugger until the exceptional
third act reveal rips it out & dangles it in front of you. Additionally, there is a hospital waiting
room scene that will test your tear ducts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chris Evans
shows he is more than just Captain America here. But if you’ve been watching him for nearly 20
years, you know that already. Octavia
Spencer could play Roberta in her sleep but is still solid in the role. Jenny Slate is given too little to do outside
the first act but has enough charisma that she doesn’t litter the background
the few times she is on-screen McKenna
Grace as Mary is the rare young actor who outshines every adult. She has to be that talented in order to make
us believe that she is naturally writing all those equations & throwing out
all that mathematical jargon. Her
emotional scenes with Evans will lower your purse’s tissue inventory.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gifted is
kind of movie that could have been a lazy, Saturday night Lifetime movie. Instead, what Webb puts together with a mostly
solid script & an exceptional cast is more than admirable. It’s thought-provoking & genuinely
touching.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
****</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-33100376522861117772017-03-25T20:39:00.000-04:002017-03-25T20:39:17.436-04:00Review: Power Rangers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitE-z2B_Cz1muxjd9Q3KY9bQ9ULwSJnXx4P8aR5Arjq2haHT1SwLhdmIB7j23huJT61rW4jBwGTzCSz0ShLO3sxwk6Nk9Dr4eErTIAzxm8TPVP67Rwm8ICb_5VWzsj8iLqFnNNuZTb_UM/s1600/The-cast-of-The-Power-Rangers-Movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitE-z2B_Cz1muxjd9Q3KY9bQ9ULwSJnXx4P8aR5Arjq2haHT1SwLhdmIB7j23huJT61rW4jBwGTzCSz0ShLO3sxwk6Nk9Dr4eErTIAzxm8TPVP67Rwm8ICb_5VWzsj8iLqFnNNuZTb_UM/s400/The-cast-of-The-Power-Rangers-Movie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Saban Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An
afternoon children’s institution for almost a quarter century, the Mighty
Morphin’ Power Rangers have returned to the big screen after two decades and
they are wiping the slate clean. Five
teenagers in Angel Grove become defenders of the universe against the evil Rita
Repulsa under the guidance of Zordon, a former Ranger stuck inside the Grid of
the home ship. As cheesy & goofy the
show was back in the day, this new iteration tries to combine some the fun of
the original show with a few more gritty elements of the modern world. But Power Rangers is nothing more than Millennial
Nostalgia Syndrome run amok.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dean
Israelite (Project Almanac) directs this like it’s his entry in the “So You
Wanna Direct Transformers?” contest.
Every shot is either an extreme close-up or a wide shot with a Dutch
angle. You could count with one hand the
number of times the camera stood still for a majority of the shot. The camera spun so fast in a travelling car
in the opening that I needed to close my eyes to keep from getting motion
sickness. The final battle features too
many shots of CGI creatures on the side of the frame. It always fascinates me when $105 million was
spent on a movie and the filmmakers don’t want to show what they spent it on. Israelite & cinematographer Matthew J
Lloyd (Netflix’s Daredevil) create an atmosphere that keeps Power Rangers from
being coherent. Too much of the film,
especially early on, is shot at night & is poorly lit, making much of the
movie (literally) unwatchable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The design
of all the supposedly-iconic costumes & vehicles is hideous. Everything has the same basic color scheme:
dark gray on black. The ship looks like
if a 1950s alien designed the Batcave.
It’s worst feature is Zordon himself, who looks like a giant Pin Art 3D attached
to the wall like a flat screen television.
That sounds cool but he’s filmed with camera up his nose and your focus
is on the individual pin closest to the camera & not the whole face. The suits & the Zords share the same
fatal flaw: the primary color of the Ranger character is not of the primary
color of their costume. In the scene
where the Rangers do their clichéd, slo-mo, introductory walk towards the
camera in the ship, you cannot tell which Ranger is which. The same thing happens when the Rangers or
their mechanical creatures fly across the screen in the fight scene. The reason is that the majority of each suit
is dark grey instead of the primary color of each Ranger. In addition, each Ranger’s primary color
appears to be faded or mixed with black. If you're colorblind, you're f*cked. Combine that with the poorly designed henchmen called Puddies, the
hand-to-hand fight is a mammoth mess with the light gray fighting dark gray on black rock.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for the
teenage Rangers, we have Jason Scott (Montgomery), the disgraced star
quarterback, Kimberly Hart (Scott), a pariah cheerleader, Billy Cranston
(Cyler) an African-American genius on the autism spectrum and Zack (Lin) &
Trini (Becky G), two social & ethnical outsiders. Within five seconds of meeting Kim &
Billy, we fall for them as interesting characters thanks to the actors. Naomi Scott has the kind of face the camera
loves and she has the chops to love it back.
If there is anyone of the main five who will breakout, it’s RJ Cyler who
plays Billy with the perfect blend of intelligence & awkwardness that adds
the slightest bit of reality to the proceedings. Dacre Montgomery is given the meaty, lead
role that has the complexity to him but the young actor lacks the portfolio of
facial expressions to convey the necessary emotions. This actor was obviously cast not because of
his talent but for his resemblance to Zac Efron.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time
we get a chance to know the final two Power Rangers, the movie has already ran
about 40 minutes so they, a young Asian man & a young Latina, are kept in
the background. We do learn that Zack
comes from a broken home & has a sick mother and is somewhat
developed. As far as Trini goes, we know
she’s an outcast at school & home because she may or may not be a lesbian
and…that’s about it. We don’t even know
her name until the 50 minute mark. Ludi
Lin is fine as Zack but Becky G should stick to her day job as a singer. Every line she says is rushed & in one
bland tone as if she wants to get away from the camera as quickly as possible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the bad
characters don’t end there. Rita Repulsa
takes way too long developing into her & her creature’s final form that
there’s nothing we discover about her outside of her desire to get revenge
& take over the world. Elizabeth
Banks is usually very reliable but Meryl Streep circa 1984 couldn’t make Rita work. Zordon should have been a mystical
teacher for the team but, to be brutally honest, he’s an asshole. Zordon hates the idea of being the spirit in
the wall so he devises a plan to come back as one of the Rangers. And he almost gets away with it but has a
moment of unearned humility & accepts his destiny.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is
also an element of the third act that belongs in the Product Placement Hall of
Shame next to the McDonald’s scene in Mac & Me. Never in the history of cinema or mankind has
the location of a Krispy Kreme been so integral to human existence. It’s moments like that that destroy anything
the script that screenwriter John Gatins (Real Steel, Kong: Skull Island) was trying to
accomplish in between the callbacks to the TV series. It’s an aggressively silly moment that makes
it appear that the whole movie wants to be a joke but with all the teen angst
thrown about in the first two acts, the tone is out of control.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Power
Rangers is Michael Bay-lite, which is still too much of a bad thing. It’s a movie that is too loud, too frenetic,
too confused, too effects-heavy and too nostalgia-focused to be anything
worth your attention. Sure, there are
three heroes that are engaging enough but their two ethnic minority
counterparts are left in the background and a villain on another planet. Power Rangers is nothing more than a giant
Krispy Kreme doughnut: filling & full of sugar enough for a small burst of
energy but full of regret in retrospect.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-70515960025942356062017-03-12T21:24:00.000-04:002017-03-12T21:25:06.043-04:00Review: Kong: Skull Island<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypU9NiLuK3tkOL8T6T_zUZWto1_XaAou2pm3eF4rjfa3_XsPOVLkS6YKZxLU92Xc8tzhRo2lMsMHeUf4dkb-uDIxkuKZKOcZkND16aAq8C1fbZYDwOhTbQZdY3fahdjcY-AJumkj-Eog/s1600/Kong+Skull+Island.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypU9NiLuK3tkOL8T6T_zUZWto1_XaAou2pm3eF4rjfa3_XsPOVLkS6YKZxLU92Xc8tzhRo2lMsMHeUf4dkb-uDIxkuKZKOcZkND16aAq8C1fbZYDwOhTbQZdY3fahdjcY-AJumkj-Eog/s400/Kong+Skull+Island.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Warner Brothers Pictures.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s
1973. Nixon has just negotiated peace
with the Vietnamese, starting the end of the Vietnam War. Meanwhile in Washington, Bill Randa
(Goodman), head of secret government agency Monarch, has just received approval
to explore an uninhabited island in the South Pacific. Randa compiles his team with ex-British
Special Officer James Conrad (Hiddleston), war photographer Mason Weaver (Larson)
and a platoon fresh from the War led by Lt. Col. Preston Parker (Jackson). Before long, the group invades Skull Island
and comes face to face with its primary inhabitant, Kong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kong: Skull
Island, at its best, has a goofy quality to it.
The first action shot of a palm tree crashing into a helicopter gives
the movie the pro wrestling fighting-style & tone that allows the
proceedings & audience to let loose.
The multiple fight sequences one-up each other as the 117 minute runtime
moves along. The fights include such
ridiculous shots as Kong shaking soldiers out of a helicopter, Tom Hiddleston
with a gas mask & a samurai sword and a climatic battle with many moments
that need to be seen to be believed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The visual
effects are quite impressive. Kong looks
like a practical effect most of the time.
The visuals are at their most impressive when Kong has a mini battle
with a creature with an absurd number of tentacles. The only shot that isn’t convincing is the
one time Kong is touched by a human being.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What keeps
Kong: Skull Island from being more than a guilty pleasure is the characters
created by screenwriters Dan Gilroy (Nightcrawler) , Max Borenstein (2014 Godzilla)
and Derek Connolly (Safety Not Guaranteed & Jurassic World). Only two characters are worthy of being in a
major motion picture. John C. Reilly’s
Hank Marlow, a WWII vet stuck on Skull Island for 28 years, is the most
developed character & we don’t really meet him until halfway through the
movie. He knows the island as well as
Kong does. The best part of Marlow is he
isn’t as crazy as the trailers make him out to be and is not relegated to the
comic relief. Most importantly (and
detrimentally), as each scene with him goes by with him, you begin to
sympathize with Marlow more than every other character in the movie
combined. The only other character of
note is Lt. Col. Parker, the most extreme militarist possible once on the
island. Parker slowly begins to lose his
sanity as he realizes that this is his chance to “win” a war and Jackson smartly
plays it as straight as possible, keeping the movie partially grounded.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone
else is either a near-caricature or an empty pillowcase. Bill Randa exists solely to get the engine
started and is disposed of in the background about 70 minutes in without any
fanfare. Randa hired an outside corporation,
whose employees are introduced but are quickly forgotten until each one of them
gets a bigger death than Randa himself.
It’s as if there’s 15 minutes of material sitting on a hard drive in a
Warner Brothers editing room of their concerns & hijinks. As I sit here typing this review, I still
have no idea the purpose of Hiddleston’s James Conrad. Outside of his introductory scene & the
fight I mentioned earlier, I can’t remember a single word or thing Conrad says
or does. As for photographer Mason
Weaver, she exists solely to have the occasional philosophical line (not
speeches, single lines of monologue) or gesture and to have a camera bag hang
over Brie Larson’s sternum to accentuate her breasts. The soldiers under Parker’s command range
from the scared, young private to the quiet, stealthy guy to the two
wise-cracking, interracial best friends.
Not exactly the most inspiring bunch.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Director
Jordan Vogt-Roberts (The Kings of Summer) does make an inspired choice or
two. The second introduction to Kong is
a beautiful shot of him against the sun as the helicopters fly in. It gets quite obvious real quick that Vogt-Roberts
likes Apocalypse Now as much as Gareth Edwards liked Jaws from Godzilla. Each of action sequences is shot competently
without the extreme close-ups that usually plague these effects-driven
extravaganzas.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kong: Skull
Island is one of the few “Turn off your brain” movies that kinda works. There are enough big action scenes to thrill
that crowd but lacks any subtle signs of depth and the characters just aren’t
there. It’s big, loud, dumb and I had
way too much fun for my own good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
***</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-73851026992023332522017-02-11T16:27:00.001-05:002017-02-11T16:27:49.848-05:00Review: Fifty Shades Darker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEG6ZApfqXMcyduRnFyqjjm72YKYJq2xF0fXkrlkqfHIGP_1_p_mxta-PGHZQ5b50FQEZBfYB83-SA9chu8MqHUXdmEO1b8FxFz97ZZdFxrNxdav_866S-6RlP2UmwLXAduHdqjBpdeTQ/s1600/fifty+shades.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEG6ZApfqXMcyduRnFyqjjm72YKYJq2xF0fXkrlkqfHIGP_1_p_mxta-PGHZQ5b50FQEZBfYB83-SA9chu8MqHUXdmEO1b8FxFz97ZZdFxrNxdav_866S-6RlP2UmwLXAduHdqjBpdeTQ/s400/fifty+shades.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Universal Pictures.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On this
blog & on Movie Rehab, a site I contribute to, I try to call to attention to movies about women for women that deserve it.
In the past, I’ve praised Bridget Jones’ Baby, boosted a portion of How
to Be Single and roundly criticized The Other Woman & The Boss as lowest
common denominator cesspools that lower the integrity of their
protagonists. As bad as those latter two
movies are, Fifty Shades Darker is the closest I’ve come to suggesting women
who care about film & themselves as a gender to revolt against cinema.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we
last left you, Anastasia Steele (Johnson) had left Christian Grey (Dornan) &
his Red Room behind. She has a new job
with a great boss, an apartment to die for and friends & roommates that
adore her. Soon enough, however, Grey
with his fancy bank account and whips & chains comes crawling back. Will Ana take him back or will she save
herself from…herself?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within 10
minutes, we know the answer and it’s not good for anyone. On their first date back together, Ana does
show some restraint & playfulness by flirting with Christian while making
dinner. This kind of ingenuity is
short-lived as they hop into bed together to have bland sex. This early scene highlights yet again that
Anastasia, no matter how hard Dakota Johnson tries, is a passive & weak
character. In scene after scene, in life
changing decision after decision, Steele meekly goes through this movie like
lost puppy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s be
honest with ourselves: Christian Grey is a creep. Even on the surface, he’s shady, wealthy character
with his lack of normal friendships and a family that either is completely
unaware of his lifestyle or totally fine with his “masochistic” side. Add that to the fact that Grey has dossiers
of potential submissives compiled by private investigators. How did Ana not run directly to court to file
a restraining order? If Brad Pitt in his
prime (or even now) tried this, his career goes down the toilet. What makes Grey any different from Jim Preston
in Passengers, who also obsessively researched his object of affection for
weeks before ultimately waking her up to woo her? I guess it’s because Grey owns a penthouse
& a helicopter and is a character in a bad Twilight fan-fiction romance
novel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every time
I blinked, Ana was topless. I’ve seen
Dakota Johnson naked more times this week than my wife. On the other side of the ledger, models for
skiing equipment show more skin that Dornan does in four of the five love
scenes. Even in the two that take place
in the shower, Grey is only shown from the belly button up. Does Dornan, with his plastic abs &pecs and
his stiff acting, have no genitalia to complete the Ken Doll ensemble?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In every
regard, Fifty Shades Darker is worse than its predecessor. When you want steamy love story, wouldn’t you
call the guy who adapted Glengarry Glen Ross to the screen? James Foley shoots this movie like a music
video. There are multiple montages where
the camera moves at breakneck speed with blaring pop music, including one where
Ana steers Christian’s boat. That
sequence is played out as if Steele was Ricky Bobby returning to the
racetrack. The most egregious sins occur
during the love scenes where Foley decides to blast bad R&B while the two
go at it. The worst of these occurs when
Ana is fingered in a crowded elevator.
The music is originally that muzak that you hear in every elevator
everywhere, but once they start fooling around, we are treated to a Top 40 song
that will sound great on the faux-edgy, housewife-approved soundtrack. Any sexiness still left in the room as the
two lifeless central characters had immediately disappeared as that outside
music distracts from the already bleak proceedings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Foley &
screenwriter Niall Leonard (E.L. James’ husband) also fill the 111 minutes runtime
with an opening scene of young Christian hiding from his abusive father,
implying that his sexual desires stem from those beatings. How sexy!
There’s a subplot involving one of Christian’s former jilted, suicidal
submissives that is resolved in a way too quick & easy manner that leads to
a fight that only lasts one of those aforementioned montages where Ana walks
around the entire city of Seattle. There’s
also an unintentionally funny sequence where Grey is involved in a helicopter
accident and is missing for a few hours until the television coverage announces
that he’s found alive & well milliseconds before the elevator door to his
apartment opens to Grey walking in with injuries consistent with tripping on
the sidewalk instead of crashing into a dense forest of Southern Washington. Additionally, there’s a cliffhanger ending involving
Ana’s sexual assaulter former boss and Christian’s first former lover
separately plotting revenge. Oh…wait…sorry,
SPOILER ALERT!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fifty
Shades Darker is as sexy & well made as a tampon commercial. During those ads, those women at least get to
visit a water park, play goalkeeper on the school’s soccer team or get to dance
the night away. Here, our protagonist is
stuck in a loveless relationship with a monstrous bore, filmed & written by
two guys who couldn’t fill the screen with sex appeal or drama if they were
given Super Soakers full of it at point blank range. Anastasia deserves better and so do the
starving women over 25 demographic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zero stars</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-4706237224407807492016-10-08T09:39:00.001-04:002016-10-12T08:52:49.305-04:00Review: The Birth of a Nation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmTwWlVf8DxQFtlYZXZRZv0KikYhQudtYWhhV6shTSMhJRoGSi64Rxi-ZmoM_ZamqSiIa97J_1bcXmbCxm7F1ZQaostEfgvyrr5IQ5m_48uv9oDg0TAA1DJ_AgTOV1n22MReA7-EZgdw/s1600/birth-of-a-nation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmTwWlVf8DxQFtlYZXZRZv0KikYhQudtYWhhV6shTSMhJRoGSi64Rxi-ZmoM_ZamqSiIa97J_1bcXmbCxm7F1ZQaostEfgvyrr5IQ5m_48uv9oDg0TAA1DJ_AgTOV1n22MReA7-EZgdw/s320/birth-of-a-nation.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Fox Searchlight Pictures. All Rights Reserved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In 15 years
of going to the movies, I’ve had a single dream: watching a movie in a theatre
by myself. I’ve come close many times
usually with an elderly couple coming in during the previews. It finally happened this week but never in a
million years would I have thought it would have happened during an opening
night showing. And fulfilling that dream
wasn’t the most exciting thing to happen me in that theatre that night. It turns out the movie I saw all by myself
was absolutely marvelous.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nate Parker
(star, director & co-writer) decides right off the bat to make THE BIRTH OF
A NATION a personal, artistic motion picture.
The emphasis is not on Nat Turner’s unsuccessful slave rebellion but on
our hero and the birth of his rebellion.
This is an up-close look at one slave & his experience as a pawn pastor
for the white man and his reaction after reaching his breaking point. Nat has to appear with multiple dimensions
and not just motivated by his faith & treatment as a slave. Nat finds inspiration through love found in
the slave trade. His love for Cherry is
beautifully chronicled in both short-ish montages & conversations. Two of their scenes together stand out: Their
first, full true encounter in the plantation’s front yard is like a scene out
of the best romantic movies yet is so natural here. But their real powerhouse scene is their
conclusion. I won’t spoil it but their
final scene is one of those magical emotionally & cinematically perfect
moments that don’t come around often enough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nat’s faith
journey is just as emotional. Taught to
read by his master’s wife, he is taken from plantation to plantation to
preach. His “ah-ha” moment when we see
his face as he tells his fellows slaves that being obedient to their owners
will get them to the promised land hits you in the gut. Nat’s breaking point, in which he talks back
to his young master by quoting the Bible, and its aftermath perfectly
summarizes the theme of the movie: Religion is a weapon of hope & fear and
the vicious hypocrisy between the classes & races use of it is forever
evident. Never before has a movie like
this been so timely. There are also a
few “tribal” scenes that take place in the woods that convey that Nat is some
sort of spiritual figure, successfully turning him into the chosen savior of
his people.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nate Parker
knows his way around a camera considering this is his directorial debut. There are sprawling shots of the pre-Civil
War American South that creates a “prisoner in paradise” atmosphere, as if the
movie needed to be more torturous. His
selective use of extreme close-ups gives each of them the appropriate emotional
kick. There are a few scenes of slave
brutality, just enough to get the idea of what they went through. But TBOAN is far from being the torture &
misery porn that 12 YEARS A SLAVE was three years ago. His direction of the mostly non-household
name actors worked like a charm.
Everyone from the never better Armie Hammer as his owner to virtually
unknown Aja Naomi King as Cherry to the reliably sinister Jackie Earle Haley as
the leader of the slave patrol brought their A-game to the set.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BIRTH
OF A NATION is the African-American version of BRAVEHEART. Some will see this as an insult. Why?!
Both are emotional tragically heartwarming stories of oppression &
resistance, war & love, despair & hope with a little more faith &
artistry thrown in the newer feature.
Nate Parker, despite his checkered past, has created something that
should be cherished & celebrated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*****</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-43585276724691276882016-09-18T09:10:00.000-04:002016-09-18T09:10:35.943-04:00The State of My Cinematic Journey<div class="MsoNormal">
After the
miserable summer I’ve had going to the movies, one thing has become abundantly
clear: I am quickly falling out of the key demographic for movie studios. I’m still a white guy with a fairly good
paying day job. I turned 31 earlier this
month. I have other priorities. My wife is going back to school to finish her
degree. We want to get a house. We want to start a family. I need a new car. I’m finally beginning to feel great about my
poker skills.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I hoped
my passion since I was 15 would stay with me.
In general, it has. I still get
giddy at the ticket counter. When the
usher rips my ticket, points me in the director of my theatre & says “Enjoy
the show!”, I still smile & say “Thanks!” every time. I love walking in to take my seat & see
with whom I get to share this experience.
The hairs on the back of my neck still stand up as the lights dim. I love the quiet moments I get to reflect as
the end credits roll & the lights fade up.
But recently, I’ve noticed something odd. I’m not enjoying as many movies as I used
to. Also, the audiences I’ve watched
these movies with have gotten less & less enjoyable to be around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what can
I attribute that to? Am I at that age
where I need to move on? Do I leave my
passion behind? My answer: I’m not going
anywhere. I still love movies. I loved travelling with fugitives as they
take one’s son towards his destiny. I
loved following teenagers find freedom & joy through music. I fell in love with a college freshman &
his baseball teammates as he assimilates to his new surroundings. I found joy in a panda finally living out a
prophesy put forward years ago.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So where am
I going with this? Well, I have come to
the conclusion that I need to change my movie-going habits. From this day forth, I will no longer make
comic book “movies” a priority in my theatrical journey. If there is a CBM that I want to watch in a
theatre, I won’t be buying a ticket for until the third Monday of release at
the earliest. I will spending 17 days on
the outside as yet another visual effects extravaganza makes a billion dollars
in worldwide box office receipts. In
addition, I won’t waste my time reviewing them nor will I be getting in
arguments with people online over them.
They aren’t worth the time or energy.
I’ll throw out a tweet or two immediately after watching said spectacle
but will only barely acknowledge its existence after that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure
you noticed that I put quotation marks around the word “movie” in the above
paragraph. That is because I believe
that recent theatrically released comic book adaptations are not movies, motion
pictures, films, whatever term you want to use.
A movie is a series of pictures strung together to create a compelling
story with a beginning, middle & end with interesting characters,
spectacular action sequences with high stakes & expertly crafted visuals
and great actors well-written dialogue.
Many recent comic book adaptations don’t have endings; they stop. They take this “sequel culture” that we live
in to the extreme and leave more open endings than closed ones after every
installment. Recent super villains have
been quite dull. I get a kick out of
seeing Daniel Bruhl on screen but his Helmut Zemo in Civil War could have been
eons more conniving. Even as technology
improves and visual effects get better, the over-reliance by these creations is
really distracting. And while studios
open their bank accounts to get the best looking & most talented actors,
studios don’t seem to care who they hire to write these creations.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess you
could say I’m a grump, an old fart, stubborn, a snob. And I won’t deny being any of those
things. I did not grow up on comic
books. I only remotely started paying
attention to them after I saw Spider-Man in 2002; even then, I still didn’t
read them. I showed up in theatres from
time to time when more comic book “movies” were released. I’ve raved about a few over the years. X-Men 2, Spider-Man 2, The Avengers, Days of
Future Past: each one great. But now,
especially this year, these seem like experiences that only readers or devotees
can appreciate. I’m not one of them and
if I haven’t become a fanboy by now, I never will.</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-90230812565872783272016-04-29T10:59:00.000-04:002016-04-29T10:59:13.372-04:00Fantasy Box Office: April 29 - May 1<div class="MsoNormal">
THE JUNGLE BOOK</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 804 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $35.077 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After another huge weekend, TJB is poised to win its third weekend in a row before a Civil War hits theatres. But how big will it be? I can't see a non-animated Disney movie to hold over 60%, even without any new competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
KEANU</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 346 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $17.15 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A hilarious comedy from the stars/creators of Key & Peele that will sure to test just how powerful television stars can be on the silver screen. It is 'R'-rated and unabashedly so. Could go anywhere in the teens or even low 20s.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MOTHER’S DAY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 309 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $12.31 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another Garry Marshall "Day" movie for everyone to ignore again. That cast could open any other movie in the universe. But that trailer is as bad as the price is high.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 172 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $7.972 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A sub-$20 million weekend with bad buzz and 'B+' Cinemascore spells doom for this unwanted sequel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RATCHET & CLANK</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 129 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $6 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If an animated movie opens, but a film buff like me only saw a commerical twice, does anyone else know it exists?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 110 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $5.575 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WARNING: ONLY IN 379 THEATRES! AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 94 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.835 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie is just going through the motions until it
disappears from theatres with its capes between its legs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GREEN ROOM</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 72 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.775 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first of two movies expanding this week that are overpriced due to not expanding as much as expected. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BOSS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 71 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.731 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A bad comedy with a competition coming from both the R-rated
comedy side (KEANU) and the female-centric side (MOTHER’S DAY). Could still be a force considering the cost.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 57 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.751 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Final weekend of relevence before it disappears into the great beyond of the Target bargin bin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CRIMINAL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 32 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.246 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A moderate drop after a horrible opening weekend. Theatre count is everything this weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 27 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.043 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A smaller than expected expansion this weekend (523 screens
instead of 600+) makes this a little too expensive to consider, even as 8<sup>th</sup>
screen filler.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 24 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.044 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Faces direct competition for the first time this weekend. Not a huge drop is expected but enough to be
unplayable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
COMPADRES</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 15 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.6985 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The slam dunk Bonus pick last weekend is anything but this
weekend. A 7<sup>th</sup> & 8<sup>th</sup>
screen filler? Maybe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EYE IN THE SKY<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 15 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.5418 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Too few screens to be a player, especially with the same price
as the movie above it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have no confidence in my projections because of many unanswerable questions. How much will THE JUNGLE BOOK fall in the "calm before the storm" weekend? Will Key & Peele's huge fanbase show up? Does anyone know RATCHET & CLANK exists? My "safe" lineup:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
KEANU, BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT, ZOOTOPIA x5, THE BOSS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 997 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $85.15 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-60697097394130018692016-04-21T23:06:00.001-04:002016-04-21T23:06:26.986-04:00Fantasy Box Office: April 22-24<div class="MsoNormal">
THE JUNGLE BOOK</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 804 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $56.728 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where does a movie go after a $102+ million opening weekend
with a 90%+ on RT & an ‘A’ Cinemascore?
Back to the top of the box office.
The question is how high it will go.
I’m going the conservative route with my prediction but a $60 million weekend
won’t surprise me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 324 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $25.5 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Kristin Stewart-less pre-sequel to the 2012 Stewart
hit. With the interest in this movie low
& the Tomatometer even lower, how much can the starpower of
Theron/Hemsworth/Blunt/Chastain take in at the cinema this week? I think I’m on the high side, but you never
know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 134 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $10.1 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A big disappointment for those of us who went all out with
it last weekend. The rule of thumb with
well-received minority-centric movie falls as close to 50% as possible. But can this threequel drop just 45% &
win the Bonus? Maybe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 67 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.8852 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Competition from TJB finally knocked this animated film down
a few pegs but still had a respectable weekend and should have another one this
weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BOSS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 64 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.4811 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As expected, this fell 57%+ last weekend. This is a real wild card this weekend. A sub-50% drop might make this a playable
option. But I doubt it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ELVIS & NIXON</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 62 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.6 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WARNING: ONLY IN 379 THEATRES! AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 48 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.514 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie is just going through the motions until it
disappears from theatres with its capes between its legs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CRIMINAL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 35 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.3068 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A complete flop that isn’t worth even speaking its title,
let alone consider playing in this game.
Just keep reading.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 32 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.69416 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A moderately successful mom-com (a comedy only your mother
could love) that has been on my radar just about every week thus far. This week is slightly different. Not chance to play this week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 13 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.93 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally fell like a regular movie last weekend. This weekend may be its last stand but not
worth it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EYE IN THE SKY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 12 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.777 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One last week for Alan Rickman to be in the spotlight but
not in your lineup. Sad…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GOD’S NOT DEAD 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 11 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.7508 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Can this hateful movie just go away already?!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
COMPADRES</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 10 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.05 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Mexican film that is showing up in 350ish theatres this
weekend. Is its price enough to coax me
& you into playing it? Maybe…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MILES AHEAD</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 10 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.731 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don Cheadle’s directorial debut is this Miles Davis biopic
that expands enough to be in the game this week. Just not enough to be useful in the game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE DIVERGENT SERIES:
ALLEGIANT<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 9 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.6165 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The third part of a YA series that has made half the money
as the first one did two years ago. Not
worth shifting your lineup to have one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am going
against my own figures a little this week.
I should go with HUNTSMAN but I have little to no confidence in my own
calculations. Maybe I should change my
method to my madness. Anyhoo, my “safe”
play this weekend:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXenC2uYCufIhfTn8YYX9xphfUiXM6uPEHts2P4ES5y7KdpLMTtdbjFQQAx-BGW6CCmGSxB21LdbafwATxdVDT65HqWypchVdChdI_noak17qgycgMxyw8cldoKLbVgxCQxexCPRU_z0/s1600/FML+April+22-24.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXenC2uYCufIhfTn8YYX9xphfUiXM6uPEHts2P4ES5y7KdpLMTtdbjFQQAx-BGW6CCmGSxB21LdbafwATxdVDT65HqWypchVdChdI_noak17qgycgMxyw8cldoKLbVgxCQxexCPRU_z0/s400/FML+April+22-24.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE JUNGLE BOOK, BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT, COMPADRES x6</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 998 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $85.15 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-42093570800784813812016-04-15T07:31:00.000-04:002016-04-15T07:31:30.253-04:00Fantasy Box Office: April 15-17<div class="MsoNormal">
THE JUNGLE BOOK</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 748 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $78.7 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another new live-action remake of a classic Disney animated
film. This time, we get Jon Favreau’s
take on the Rudland Kipling novel with CGI everything except Mowgli. The 94% on the Tomatometer (at writing) might
help this hit $80 million plus but I’ll stay a little cautious. Will win the Bonus if the next movie
underperforms.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 202 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $24.35 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A threequel to one of the most successful African-American
franchises. More importantly, this is
the first minority-centric, non-spoof comedy in almost three months. Look for this to possibly dominate the Bonus
race.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BOSS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 143 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $10.6137 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A shocking victory in overall box office & in the FML
Bonus contest. Can McCarthy repeat? After a ‘C+’ Cinemascore, not a chance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 116 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $11.6815 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a shocking loss last week & three weeks of
underperforming, BvS should fall a normal amount this weekend. Right?
I mean, not enough to win the Bonus but enough to look respectable
now. Right?!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 93 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $9.324 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now it it’s 7<sup>th</sup> weekend, this overachieving
Disney animated film finally has competition in THE JUNGLE BOOK. Regardless, should have a respectable, “might
be playable” weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CRIMINAL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 90 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $7 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A poorly reviewed, under-marketed action movie with Costner
& Reynolds. Avoid at all costs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 39 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.368 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This crowd-pleasing but critically reviled (including by
yours truly) rom-com sequel continues to do well relative to its budget. Another sub-50% drop this weekend & in
contention as a screen filler.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 31 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.059 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Christian-themed movie that won’t go away. This is a very solid play as a screen filler.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HARCORE HENRY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 27 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.043 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tainted as a failure by both box office prognosticators
& FML’ers, stay away from this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GOD’S NOT DEAD 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 24 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.027 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mean-spirited religious movie that got rejected this time
around. FML’ers should reject this too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 21 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.1108 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About 50% behind the pace of the first movie two years
ago. Too expensive for consideration
this week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EYE IN THE SKY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 20 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.8824 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doing fairly well for a movie I’ve heard very little
about. Still not worth playing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 20 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.888 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Can this become the first movie to be part of the Perfect
Cineplex for the fourth straight weekend?
Probably too expensive this week.
Too bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 13 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.355 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the last weekend this will torture me with its
presence. Good riddance!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HELLO, MY NAME IS
DORIS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 11 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.966 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A decent little film gets one more weekend in the
spotlight. Not worth playing though.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One
projection that I have above most other players is BARBERSHOP hitting well over
$21 million. Again, the target audience
has been waiting for a movie like this.
After maxing out on that, there’s about 190 bucks to divide among four
screens, to be filled by one mid-range option & three low-end screens,
which leads me to a lineup of:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_WWtI_xmtAjWkvrW6HWTGVGNAxi3I6ahqU_MySo0muHqrnDIeehmaIlouxRdZu5Wga2IrlVvLBUfIyaBlJg1ctj1GlWT5N7sCEav8t_eFs-gLF9pzVqKgVX-7s0GmaJy2jOH6H30VX24/s1600/FML+April+15-17.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_WWtI_xmtAjWkvrW6HWTGVGNAxi3I6ahqU_MySo0muHqrnDIeehmaIlouxRdZu5Wga2IrlVvLBUfIyaBlJg1ctj1GlWT5N7sCEav8t_eFs-gLF9pzVqKgVX-7s0GmaJy2jOH6H30VX24/s400/FML+April+15-17.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT x4, BATMAN V SUPERMAN, MIRACLE FROM
HEAVEN x2, DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 999 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $124.554 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-65206663509868630722016-04-10T15:53:00.000-04:002016-04-10T15:53:44.667-04:00Review: THE BOSS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXX-k15If9wQvxgrnyKLqqWcyDac4z6M5jjQbG2Mdy5EhOhBECywHchjPSazcnTKc8LYPPcRA8kUZC3dWSdHBkYj8yfAJW4I6WFiO_lrnsqYcGvXdPIbILq1xcIX1yZFYABBcyqJv9ATY/s1600/the+boss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXX-k15If9wQvxgrnyKLqqWcyDac4z6M5jjQbG2Mdy5EhOhBECywHchjPSazcnTKc8LYPPcRA8kUZC3dWSdHBkYj8yfAJW4I6WFiO_lrnsqYcGvXdPIbILq1xcIX1yZFYABBcyqJv9ATY/s400/the+boss.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Universal Pictures. All Rights Reserved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is the
most miserable type of movie to watch? To
many, movies with disturbing images, like torture porn or Lars Von Trier films,
are seen as endurance tests or feats of nerve & even artistry. To others, a movie with a depressing subject,
like SCHINDLER’S LIST and SPOTLIGHT, is brutal to sit through without feeling
depressed feelings afterwards. While I
can’t defend the former, the latter classification of movies features some the
best movies of the past few decades, such as the two movies listed above. But to me, unfunny comedies are the
ultra-marathon equivalent of endurance tests in the movie world. And THE BOSS is among the roughest ones to
sit through.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michelle Darnell
(McCarthy) is one of the most successful businesswomen on the planet. That is until she’s busted for insider
trading, serving prison time & having her assets frozen in the
meantime. Once released, the only person
who doesn’t outright reject Darnell is her former tortured personal assistant
Claire (Bell), who reluctantly opens her home to her. How can Michelle get back on her feet?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You get
this sense of doom from the first scene of the movie where we see young
Michelle being returned to a Catholic orphanage three times during her
childhood with Margo Martindale playing the nun in charge. Michelle has developed quite a mouth on her
while Ms. Martindale has to just stand there, the script rendering her
helpless. This opening exchange is a
perfect representation of what THE BOSS is: a good concept that consistently
& almost exclusively goes for the lowest common denominator instead of
using the situation created to make bigger, specialized joke. There are numerous opportunities just like
this one. After a show in Chicago, a
conversation about Claire getting a raise into a joke about goofy Michelle’s
face looks carrying the conversation while getting her teeth whitened with a
dental apparatus in her mouth. The one
scene that takes place on the grounds of the prison isn’t about the posh lifestyle
behind the barbed wire but just serves as an excuse for Michelle to assault her
financial advisor with a tennis ball.
The rivalry between the groups of young female scouts should be about
strengthening the skills of future successful professional women. Instead, Michelle & the opposing
alpha-mom exchange vulgarities (not vulgar insults, just the choice
four-letter-words) that culminates in a poorly-shot streetfight. Nothing says female empowerment like a grown
woman clotheslining a preteen girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bell’s
Claire is a frumpily dressed single mom, a fact which she reminds every person
she interacts with during the movie, exists purely as a punching bag for
Darnell. Their biggest confrontation
comes not from the previously mentioned raise, not during the process of
creating the homemade brownie company but from her wardrobe choice for a
date. The fight soon devolves into a
minute long shot of McCarthy & Bell swatting each other’s boobs. How hilarious! For the record, I laughed one time at the
most throwaway but least dirty joke in the movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where THE
BOSS completely loses me is in the third act turn that begins with a
misunderstanding between Claire & Michelle after a meeting with Renault
(Dinklage), Michelle’s former lover turned business rival whose presence
lingers for the entire movie like a fart in a near-empty theatre. From that meeting, the movie spins completely
out of control, ending in a sequence that belongs in a bad version of last year’s
SPY. But before the movie gets there,
Darnell goes to find herself with a person only alluded to briefly in one scene
early in the movie. The meeting between
Darnell & this character makes you like her even less than you did before
because it makes Michelle’s intentions that much less genuine & heartfelt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then come
the last two “jokes”. The first is a
callback to an earlier moment & serves as a cheap ending to a subplot that
hadn’t been referenced in at least 45 minutes.
The second “joke” is actually a gag reel over the end credits. A staple of the 1990s, the gag reel should
have been put to rest after Pixar added such scenes to their end credits in a
few of their early movies in the late 90s & early 2000s. But what’s worse than actually adding it to
begin with is that it’s not funny at all; just one last bankrupt attempt to get
people to laugh at cheap antics.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My patience
for Melissa McCarthy is running pretty thin.
I’m sure she loves her husband Ben Falcone, who directed & co-wrote
this movie with her. I’m sure in real
life that they love each other & are soulmates. But their professional collaborations, first
with TAMMY (full disclosure: I haven’t seen yet despite it being on HBO for
about a year) and now with THE BOSS, are complete failures as comedies with
bottom of the barrel jokes, choppy editing to remove jokes that epically failed
and characters who aren’t worth our time.
A complete waste of time, resources & talent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zero Stars</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-70975193064119297862016-03-31T22:58:00.000-04:002016-03-31T22:58:32.118-04:00Fantasy Box Office: April 1-3<div class="MsoNormal">
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday Cost: 346 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday Estimate: $19.10 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday Cost: 472 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday Estimate: $27.19 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday Cost: 334 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday Estimate: $18.451 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the $166 million weekend with an $81 million opening
night and the small number of new movies, the powers that be decided to keep each
BvS day as an option. But with 29% on
the Tomatometer a ‘B’ Cinemascore, all signs point to a larger than normal drop
for a huge blockbuster. I’m thinking a 61%
drop, with daily percentage splits of 29.5/42/28.5. STAY AWAY!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 251 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $16.213 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another weekend, another weekend as the top family
option. It’s doing so well right now
that its net theatre change is +28.
Insanity! Not enough to pull off
a surprise upset for the Bonus, but it is a better option than any of the BvS
choices.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GOD’S NOT DEAD 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 212 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $13.5 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sequel for the surprise hit of Spring 2014 as it made
over $9 million in less than 800 theatres.
It opens in 2300+ theatres this time so the weekend gross will be
higher, but with all the Christian movies that have been out so far this year
including a more palatable one in more theatres this weekend, this should be
drowned out enough to not be in contention for the Bonus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 157 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $11.61 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The real crowdpleaser of the weekend with an ‘A-‘
Cinemascore. And with a target audience
who isn’t the type to run out early to see this, the drop should be minimal. I’m talking Bonus-winning minimal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 93 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $5.33 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer the newest Christian-centric movie in
theatres. But the word is out about this
as a feel-good kind of religious experience.
It’s just too high priced for Bonus contention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 71 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.717 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Already down to just above 3000 theatres, this penultimate
entry in the franchise is dead in the water.
Don’t even bother.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MEET THE BLACKS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 55 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.791 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks after a black-centric romcom, we get another
black-centric spoof of THE PURGE.
Opening in only 1011 theatres, needs a good PTA to have a chance at the
Bonus. It will fall short.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EYE IN THE SKY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 53 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.19 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A well-received drama about drone strikes in the War on
Terror notable for being the final on-screen appearance of the late Alan
Rickman. Other than that sentimental
factor, how many people are clamoring to see that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 52 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.356 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week’s Bonus winner expands into 959 theatres this
weekend. Sure to be moderately
successful but not nearly enough to win back-to-back weeks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.938 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now in under 2000 theatres…NOPE! Not doing it.
Not giving commentary on this. I’m
always wrong. You’re on your own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 50 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.97 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie’s success still fascinates me. Will be a non-factor this weekend, but…wow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I SAW THE LIGHT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 47 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Hank Williams biopic expanding to only 741 theatres. There’s something wrong here. Not worth your time or attention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LONDON HAS FALLEN<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 28 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.514 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drops to about 1500 theatres this weekend while probably
splitting screens in most places. Still
a great low priced filler, as the cheapest option usually is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A difficult
weekend at first sight, quickly turned into something fairly easy. One medium-priced movie was a fantastic value
but going all-in with it is a risk. But
being able to easily round out the Cineplex with low-priced filler while using
near maximum dollars made my choice a no-brainer:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaEcHMOlX0l-4sqmQqJb8r2_QsIl7zIq5ClZO8KKP6bPnseiB6QXknBN23ghfZkm9_D7EeDpYV3bVWk3KpgPza879JxaTc0i94v_eP4hjNM_Rx8Jk0KZXuFbmSbraUtxfl7ooszUaCSc/s1600/FML+April+1-3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="377" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaEcHMOlX0l-4sqmQqJb8r2_QsIl7zIq5ClZO8KKP6bPnseiB6QXknBN23ghfZkm9_D7EeDpYV3bVWk3KpgPza879JxaTc0i94v_eP4hjNM_Rx8Jk0KZXuFbmSbraUtxfl7ooszUaCSc/s400/FML+April+1-3.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GREEK WEDDING x6, LONDON HAS FALLEN x2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 998 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $84.685 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-19085956753457522762016-03-25T23:10:00.001-04:002016-03-25T23:10:18.568-04:00Review: BATMAN V SUPERMAN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpSZOOtqwCTB8cJ0XOIvJ0NFeB5iQIO5mHHS2za_WYM3t6laQcLTvxI5b4PszF1OvLpLdzhD2zSOeSz8GlC9J62Oeax0v_quWUqIdRoRrvk53nRynHp2GG3Ks0OWkaniY9J-u6qx4rKmU/s1600/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-slice-05-600x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpSZOOtqwCTB8cJ0XOIvJ0NFeB5iQIO5mHHS2za_WYM3t6laQcLTvxI5b4PszF1OvLpLdzhD2zSOeSz8GlC9J62Oeax0v_quWUqIdRoRrvk53nRynHp2GG3Ks0OWkaniY9J-u6qx4rKmU/s400/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-slice-05-600x200.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Warner Brothers/DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the
moderate success of 2013’s MAN OF STEEL, Warner Brothers thought it was best to
combine their entire comic book catalogue into one movie, BATMAN V SUPERMAN:
DAWN OF JUSTICE, in order to keep up with rival Marvel/Disney. This also allowed WB to relaunch the Batman
franchise with relative ease. The move was
also seen an overreaction to the success of THE AVENGERS. Did the move work? Not really.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My theory behind
my positive reaction to MAN OF STEEL was the belief that producer Christopher
Nolan held Zack Snyder back from doing frenetic camera movements & extreme close-ups
all the time. With Nolan no longer over
Snyder’s shoulder most days, I feared BvS would allow Snyder go back to his
usual self. My worst fears were realized
in the second scene of the movie where the destruction of Metropolis is shown
from Bruce Wayne’s view on the ground.
Every shot, from Bruce weaving in & out of traffic to the quiet
moment at the end, is shot in a way where the camera appears to be moving in
four dimensions. I’ve ridden roller
coasters at Cedar Point that made me less nauseous. Snyder also uses the darkest color scheme possible
for the majority of BvS but when it comes to the numerous explosions, he uses
the brightest yellow he can find. I’ve
never squinted more during a movie in my life.
Later on, there’s a car chase where over half the shots are extreme
close-ups, most of which are of Batman inside the Batmobile. In fact, I don’t believe the whole Batmobile
is shown in a single frame. Why build
these gadgets, which the fanbase loves as much as the character of Batman
himself, if you aren’t going to show them?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I found
myself asking, “what is the difference between Snyder & fellow
schlockmeister Michael Bay?” The scripts
they work with. Chris Terrio (ARGO) and
David S. Goyer (DARK KNIGHT trilogy) are given the unenviable task of creating
a screenplay that not only contains what seems to be more than two movies worth
material required to move this franchise up to where Marvel has The Avengers
but to also organize it in such a way that is a half step above understandable. Unfortunately, not even a master screenwriter
like Charlie Kaufmann could crunch two 110 minute movies worth of material
cohesively into a 155 minute movie while making room for those audience
pleasing action scenes. Terrio and Goyer
have to take so many short cuts during the first hour & a half that the
reveals & Easter eggs are cheapened & ineffective. Once the bloated foundation is laid down as flat
as it possibly can, however, the movie slowly begins to work until the third
act finally gives us that battle we’ve been promised. And those final 40 minutes, other than one
last stupid rescue moment, are what the whole movie should have been: fluid
& alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each of the
actors is at least acceptable in their roles.
Henry Cavill still works well as Superman, juggling with his nobility while
showing that unhinged rage when necessary efficiently. He does, however, get his butt handed to him
when his Clark Kent goes mano-a-mano with Amy Adams as his perennial
damsel-in-distress Lois Lane. In their
first scene together, Snyder shows his borderline misogynist side by having it
performed with Adams naked with little soap in the bathtub; a scene which, as I
pointed out to my wife as soon as it ended, was much better portrayed in
shoulda/woulda/coulda been Batman helmer Darren Aronosky’s THE FOUNTAIN ten
years ago.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Skeptics
can breathe easy as Ben Affleck is almost perfect as Bruce Wayne & is
effective as the Dark Knight himself.
Affleck incorporates the perfect amount of suaveness to Wayne & is a
very imposing figure as Batman. But he
too is out-staged by a figure close to him.
Jeremy Irons makes it appear that he was born to play Alfred. But what else would you expect from the classically
trained Oscar winner? Gal Gadot is also
perfect as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, proving once again that she was one of
the few brightspots of the FAST & FURIOUS franchise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the
highlight of the movie has got to be Jesse Eisenburg. I’ll let you catch your breath for a moment
before you keep reading. Just hear me
out: I do agree with the consensus that his character’s motivations are foggy
at best. But Eisenburg as Lex Luthor is
that single daisy growing in the charred field that is the first half of
BvS. He is over-the-top but in a
partially restrained fashion that worked for me & keeps to movie chugging
along until the story is strong enough to take over.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
wonderful as the cast & the third act are, the rest is the polar opposite. Overstuffed & incoherent for much of its
runtime, BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE falls into the trap that the Marvel
Cinematic Universe falls into as of late: setting up future projects while
sacrificing a tight, cohesive product presently on-screen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
**</div>
</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-55285930976359922452016-03-25T12:05:00.000-04:002016-03-25T12:05:05.352-04:00Fantasy Box Office: March 25-27<div class="MsoNormal">
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday Cost: 709 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday Estimate: $76.34 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday Cost: 525 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday Estimate: $55.52 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday Cost: 408 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday Estimate: $41.64 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first of the big, highly anticipated comic book movies of 2016 (What's DEADPOOL?). For the third time, a new release was divided into days with Thursday night showings (probably) counting towards Friday's total. I did some research finding the daily splits of these huge blockbusters & after tweaking the formula based on the fact that its Easter weekend to a 44/32/24 split. A Saturday/Sunday or a double Sunday combo is possible if you have the guts to do that. At least one of these screens will be part of the Perfect Cineplex, unless another new sequel overperforms.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 267 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $24.9 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If there is anything that BvS is not, it’s a family
movie. And with no other non-religious
movies like it, this will be the choice for those with little children. Just not enough to be useful this weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 169 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $17.8 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If there is a box office record that will never be broken,
it’s the original’s record of highest gross without hitting #1 for a weekend of
over $200 million in 2002. But the real
question is how much can this sequel make opening opposite a huge comic-book
movie? It’s not unprecedented for an
alternative choice to make a lot of money opposite a huge blockbuster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 134 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $12.19 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The third installment of the series fell 40% from the
original installment two years ago as the Young Adult genre seems to have
faded. My projection is higher than just
about anyone else’s so this could go way lower.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 97 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $10.1 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is Easter weekend and those looking for a Christian
faith-based movie have two choices this weekend. MFH is the bigger of the two and could have a
great hold or even an increase, but I remain bullish on that idea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 71 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $6.253 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Third weekend of a thriller sequel which loses 625 theatres. My wife still hasn't seen it & hopes to see it Tuesday. Who will see this on Easter Sunday?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 62 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.646 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What can it do now that it is no longer the newest comic
book adaptation in theatres? Could be an
alternative to those who are shut out of BvS showings but has the target
already seen this twice?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LONDON HAS FALLEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 46 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.109 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A week after winning the Bonus, this drops over 800 theatres to begin its well earned slide into obscurity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 18 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.68 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loses over 1200 theatres on its way to the bargin bin at Best Buy. It deserves better than that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE PERFECT MAN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 12 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.928 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Leaves about a quarter of its theatres behind. Will the </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE REVENANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 12 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.724 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie’s success still fascinates me. Will be a non-factor this weekend, but…wow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 9 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.1 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do you call an independent comedy starring a two-time
Oscar winner in almost 500 theatres? A
runaway Bonus winner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RISEN<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 9 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.81 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christian movie #2. Will this be overshadowed by the other faith-based movie & its 500+ theatre drop? Probably.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite the
insane upside to taking five GREEK WEDDINGS, the downside of it is way too much
to go there. So maxing out on BvS’s
& DORISes is the play of the week.
After plugging in my figures in my spreadsheet & playing around with
combinations, I come up with this as the best, low risk play:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSssq2mv-MjDXg8MmkMzEc7d8jgQq9cXV_DaRcuWbvdL5nQPMtzOAplj4Zg9H4PX1npLnvvGv8MzebB6QR4QWpBySgcJ8F08U013eRq-eQl5UJ3nmnsOcyO7ZOehORssFQusMIMgKBCo/s1600/FMLMarch25-27.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSssq2mv-MjDXg8MmkMzEc7d8jgQq9cXV_DaRcuWbvdL5nQPMtzOAplj4Zg9H4PX1npLnvvGv8MzebB6QR4QWpBySgcJ8F08U013eRq-eQl5UJ3nmnsOcyO7ZOehORssFQusMIMgKBCo/s400/FMLMarch25-27.JPG" width="398" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BvS Saturday, BvS Sunday, HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS x5</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 987 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $115.76 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always, Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-3829073082718946392016-03-19T17:58:00.000-04:002016-03-19T17:58:13.983-04:00Review: ALLEGIANT<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBKxqoL-oQebAtbMi_6G-ApFxNyKvfo6fJU-lweybE4nsbuz1t0V_o6bSuwfmhXNPHVaM1w_cDkAkDUMBQfZ-r2DX34-iXiwz9dhqbT-DVRVZRvWWYZ-UyMxKaTMhOwWHEn9NC9QZvXcs/s1600/allegiant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBKxqoL-oQebAtbMi_6G-ApFxNyKvfo6fJU-lweybE4nsbuz1t0V_o6bSuwfmhXNPHVaM1w_cDkAkDUMBQfZ-r2DX34-iXiwz9dhqbT-DVRVZRvWWYZ-UyMxKaTMhOwWHEn9NC9QZvXcs/s400/allegiant.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span id="goog_1108127585"></span>I do not own the above image. Copyright Summit Entertainment. All Right Reaerved.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since the
immergence of TWILIGHT back in November 2008, the Young Adult (YA) novel
adaptation has been the go-to genre for studios who can’t get comic book
rights. While none of them have been great,
a few including THE HUNGER GAMES and BEAUTIFUL CREATURES have been at least
good. The current most successful
franchise is the DIVERGENT series about a dystrophic society in the ruins of
Chicago. I found little enjoyment in the
first two installments so my expectations for the third one, ALLEGIANT, didn’t
exist. And yet, it still failed to meet
them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the
defeat of Janine & a disagreement over the treatment of her supporters by
the new leadership, Tris (Woodley) & Four (James) decide to escape Chicago
& explore the other side. Soon
after, they are rescued by members of the army protecting the Bureau of General
Welfare, headed by David (Daniels). Tris
soon learns from David about the purpose of the Bureau, its relation to Chicago
and the lineage & destiny of Tris.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s say
your biggest ally & lover comes up to you and warns you about the possible
sinister happenings of the organization that you know little about. Do you trust him or the leader of said
organization, who you met a few days ago?
Here’s another one: Your biological son comes to you to warn you about
the fallout that will occur from an attack on a rival faction. Do you trust him or this slimy, arrogant
little punk you’ve known for about an hour? ALLEGIANT features characters who have been
though recent rough physical & mental battles in the previous two movies
where they have to have absolute trust in the person in front, behind or next
to them in order to keep their fight going.
But all allegiances, whether through birth or genuine chemistry, are
pretty much thrown out the window in two significant, inconceivably stupid
decisions by major characters. I do find
it interesting that both decisions were made by women in a movie based on a
book by a woman. It’s almost as if this
movie is trying to be some sort of weird, anti-feminism thing perpetrated by
director Robert Schwentke (INSURGENT, RED, R.I.P.D.) & writer Noah
Oppenheim (THE MAZE RUNNER). There’s
probably nothing to that since ALLEGIANT is all talk & no substance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As bad as
the main story is, what makes ALLEGIANT unbearable is the presence of Miles
Teller’s Peter Hayes. Hayes’ entire role
in this series of movies is to add sarcastic comments in the most assholishly
way possible and undermine our heroes in every step of the way. Teller is at his absolute worst during the
final two minutes as Tris gives her closing, voiceover monologue, which is juxtaposed
with scenes of Peter whining outside the fence that guards the Bureau’s
headquarters, distracting us from the final message the movie wants to present
to its audience. How was he able to hang
with that group for so long considering how much damage he’s caused in three
movies and HOW THE F*CK WAS HE NOT IMPRISIONED OR EXECUTED AT THE END OF THIS
MOVIE?!?!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shailene
Woodley can act and I understand she needs these bigger movies to keep her
visible in the eyes of the general movie-going public but these DIVERGENT
movies don’t give her any challenges. She
is the only one of the young actors who isn’t a nuisance since Theo James is
only slightly more charismatic than Taylor Lautner, Zoe Kravitz is given
nothing to do until the final action sequence and Miles Teller…I’ve already had
my rant about him. I’ve seen Jeff
Daniels give better performances in Pure Michigan commercials. Daniels, just like everyone else, appears to
just go blandly through the motions until the third act where some action
actually occurs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite the
fact that it looks professionally done, ALLEGIANT is a miserable experience in any
way you look at it with a boring first hour, a poor second hour hampered by two
inconceivably bad decisions and the most annoying adult male character I’ve
ever seen in a movie. The appeal of this
entire series is baffling to me but never in a million years would I think I’d
see another YA adaptation this inept.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
½*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-6620423698401946922016-03-18T12:05:00.000-04:002016-03-18T12:05:05.320-04:00Fantasy Box Office: March 18-20<div class="MsoNormal">
THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 585 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $33 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The third of four movies in the YA series of books is even
worse than the first two (review coming later this weekend). The second one last year was down $2 million
opening weekend & $20 million overall from the 2014 original, despite the
3D additions. No 3D this time plus the
declining interest in this series & YA adaptations in general will doom
this one. Should receive no
consideration</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOPTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 530 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $34.883 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One weekend after cracking its ceiling last week in making
$51+ million, ZOOTOPIA looks to repeat as weekend champ for the third straight
weekend. It will be a little more
difficult with the competition from the above YA adaptation but this has one
thing going for it: extremely positive word of mouth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 225 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $13 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A new, based on true events Christian movie from the makers
of HEAVEN IS FOR REAL, which made $22 million opening weekend two years
ago. Can this one with a star in the
center repeat? No.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 207 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $11.6 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A horror-thriller with a great 89% on the Tomatometer but a
bad ‘B-“ Cinemascore. Who will
moviegoers listen to: professional film buffs or average horror fans? I expect more of the latter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 110 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $6.89 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sixth weekend of a comic book movie usually means a
small decline in theatre count and not that small of a drop. DEADPOOL will be no different. (Yes, this is the same spiel as last
week. I think it will actually happen
this week.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LONDON HAS FALLEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 83 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $5.96 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The third weekend for this sequel & it’s still in over
3000 theatres. Expect a sub-50% drop and
the Bonus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 42 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.799 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A terrific hold last weekend took everyone by surprise. Can it do it again? Yes, but even a 40% drop is too much to be in
serious Bonus contention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE PERFECT MATCH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 36 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.061 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week, this did everything it was supposed to do to win
the Bonus but didn’t thanks to that absurd hold by DEADPOOL. TPM will act just like every other rom-com
for minorities: a 50% drop & not win the Bonus</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE YOUNG MESSIAH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 25 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.58 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one saw this last week when it was brand new. What makes anyone think devout Christians
will see it this weekend with that new, contemporary Christian movie out there
now?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 22 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.303 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure to split screens with older movies this weekend in most
theatres after tanking this past weekend.
My estimate is generous.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GODS OF EGYPT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 19 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.273 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer the only Christian themed movie in town. Should suffer like KFP3 last weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RISEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 19 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.232 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now has TWO Christian movies in front of it. Could go much lower than my projection.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE REVENANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 17 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.028 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie’s success still fascinates me. Will be a non-factor this weekend, but…wow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BRONZE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 17 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A 2015 Sundance comedy that’s barely marketed & is very
rotten on RT? Yeah…don’t bother with
this one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
KUNG FU PANDA 3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 14 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $0.846 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One last weekend for the best movie so far this year. Won’t be a factor but…PLEASE GO SEE IT! PRETTY PLEASE!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each of the
three decisions I needed to make this week ended up being easy. For the high priced half of the foundation,
ZOOTOPIA is the best option. Because of
the cost of my projected Bonus winner, taking multiple screens of LHF is the
best choice of the foundation. The final
two screens mean simply plugging in two random, low-priced movies, leaving me
with:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Ol2QdP1k2VfVEgsyKOweaS5WAwxLlfYKHMLUBXBoU7mt3wjrvjpmaIs3OAUAXhU-ep4-AAMAkXkpa76PvrLTPPHNQ8oP9HutMN5m9erF2Q4LnY7D69cvGuIakLOpM0Vzxv3qBPDpAo4/s1600/FMLMarch18-20.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Ol2QdP1k2VfVEgsyKOweaS5WAwxLlfYKHMLUBXBoU7mt3wjrvjpmaIs3OAUAXhU-ep4-AAMAkXkpa76PvrLTPPHNQ8oP9HutMN5m9erF2Q4LnY7D69cvGuIakLOpM0Vzxv3qBPDpAo4/s320/FMLMarch18-20.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA, LONDON HAS FALLEN x5, THE PERFECT MATCH, GODS OF
EGYPT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 1000 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $78.017 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-35931756702425950282016-03-12T10:16:00.001-05:002016-03-12T10:16:12.079-05:00Review : The Brothers Grimsby<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember
when Sacha Baron Cohen used to be someone who was a joy to watch? Da Ali G Show was a sensation a decade ago
& his 2006 comedy BORAT is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever
seen. He’s had supporting roles in other
movies but nothing has reached the heights as that. But now, Cohen seems to have hit rock bottom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cohen plays
Nobby, a poor, uneducated father of 11 in the poor fishing town of Grimsby,
pining for the day he is reunited with his little brother who was adopted after
their parents died. Following a tip, Nobby
finds Sebastian (Strong), an assassin for a secretive arm of MI6, &
promptly makes him an international fugitive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I go
off on a tangent & give this movie the beat down it deserves, I want to
make clear that there are some laughs here.
I genuinely laughed six times in 85 minutes, including twice where my
wife & I were the only people in the theatre laughing. I guess the target audience would have no
clue what Chernobyl & Manchester United are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The rest of
the movie, written by Cohen, Phil Johnston & Peter Baynham, is truly
repugnant. I shouldn’t do this but I
really, really don’t want you to see movie but I’m going to list a bunch of the
attempts of humor & you let me know if any of these are funny: Rebel Wilson
queefing, faking Leukemia for welfare checks, wrapping a pool in a condom &
hit a SWAT team member in the balls, watch an AIDS sufferer get shot in the
shoulder & have blood splatter enter a fake Daniel Radcliffe’s mouth, an
Oscar nominee being seduced in a case of mistaken identity, sucking venom out
of your brother’s testicle. I’ll just
stop there. I can’t stand to think about
things I can’t unsee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The cast
astonishes me. What in the world is Oscar
winner Penelope Cruz doing in this junk?
After this & ZOOLANDER 2, she may want to rethink her
representation. Mark Strong had a great
supporting role last year in KINGSMEN. I
understand he deserves a chance to be the lead in a spy movie, but he deserves
something better than this. Ian McShane
is the head of the spy organization & has about five lines. I’m curious as to what was cut & just how
bad it was to make this movie only 83 minutes long.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understand
I might have grown out of this type of comedy and that this movie is not for
me. But I honestly question anyone who
finds absolute joy in sitting in a theatre & watching two grown men sitting
inside an elephant’s ovulating vagina as it gets penetrated by multiple male
elephants. Just pathetic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
½*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-74262767984599969072016-03-11T12:15:00.000-05:002016-03-11T12:15:02.685-05:00Fantasy Box Office: March 11-13<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 6929 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $48.75 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This record-breaker will without a doubt win the weekend
again. But two big questions: How far
will it fall? and Will it compete for the Bonus? To get a sense of how well it might hold, THE
LEGO MOVIE two years ago fell 28.89% on a holiday weekend so a 35% drop is
reasonable. As for the Bonus, I’m not
optimistic. This is too expensive &
there are too many lower level options in the competition with better
chances. I’m staying away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 334 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $28.12 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The surprise sequel to the 2007 surprise smash found footage
horror flick that made over $40 million opening weekend. While we don’t live in that kind of movie
world where marketing can open a movie, a big opening is expected. How big?
I’ve seen estimates in the mid-30s but I’m not willing to go that
far. But even where I have it, it’s my
leader to win the Bonus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LONDON HAS FALLEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 130 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $10.8175 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A moderately successful weekend plus an ‘A-‘ Cinemascore
means this could be the surprise Bonus winner if it falls less than 50%. Will the Tomatometer make any difference this
weekend? The target audience doesn’t
care.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 129 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $7.22 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sasha Baron Cohen used to be someone. BORAT was a shocking success. BRUNO had a huge weekend then plummeted. So did THE DICTATOR. This movie has too much bad buzz to be worth
considering.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 110 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $9.85 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fifth weekend of a comic book movie usually means a
small decline in theatre count and not that small of a drop. DEADPOOL will be no different.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE YOUNG MESSIAH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 109 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $8 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second Christian themed movie of the Lenten season but
certainly won’t be the last. This one is
a little more Biblical that the previous or next ones. Not opening as wide nor as advertised as much
as either, I expect a decent but not a Bonus contending weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 50 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.126 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This isn’t the feel-good comedy (or straight comedy)
audiences were expecting. This weekend
won’t see a hold of an audience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE PERFECT MATCH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 44 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.162 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A romantic comedy for an underserved, minority audience
should be a shoo-in for the Bonus. But
what if that movie only open in 925 theatres?
The Wild Card of the weekend, for sure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE REVENANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 31 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.04 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take my estimate, multiply it by 1.2. That’s how much this movie should make. I give up on this movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GODS OF EGYPT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 27 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.82 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie will disappear from about 70% of all
theatres. So will about that much of its
box office.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RISEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 26 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.795 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer the only Christian themed movie in town. Should suffer like KFP3 last weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
KUNG FU PANDA 3</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 23 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.786 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hanging on by a thread.
Zootopia is too huge for this to survive much longer. What a shame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EDDIE THE EAGLE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 21 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.564 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Americans don’t care about a British skier in a Canadian
Olympics. Should lose at least half its
screens & box office.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE WITCH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 16 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.118 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The horror enthusiasts will be at movie theatres this
weekend. Just not in the same room as
this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
STAR WARS THE FORCE
AWAKENS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 15 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.155 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still hanging on. A
nice, really cheap filler.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
foundation is for the weekend is easy: Two Cloverfields & a Deadpool. Where the weekend got tricky was what I did
with the remaining 223 Bucks. For the
longest time, I had another Deadpool & a bunch of random picks to max out
the 223. But, in my research, I found a
nice comp for The Perfect Match in Baggage Claim, which made about
$4500/theatre two & a half years ago.
Using that, TPM had a good chance for the Bonus AND I could max out on
it. Therefore, here’s my lineup:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_mmcRO15EYIAyF-yCL7heuNRwGKp7_i08cNp9ZqGaoJat3tzCWI5SaRHQzxN3FGcj-MCgntPIOsQvRS3FkRpXS57-lxq3HDGW9X8Z2TPvxUNvEVz_rhlEP_vsoPSfGttVgGt8WsFKAys/s1600/FMLMarch11-13.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_mmcRO15EYIAyF-yCL7heuNRwGKp7_i08cNp9ZqGaoJat3tzCWI5SaRHQzxN3FGcj-MCgntPIOsQvRS3FkRpXS57-lxq3HDGW9X8Z2TPvxUNvEVz_rhlEP_vsoPSfGttVgGt8WsFKAys/s400/FMLMarch11-13.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE x2, DEADPOOL, THE PERFECT MATCH x5</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 998 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $96.9 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-73861150635886512692016-03-06T14:24:00.000-05:002016-03-06T14:24:01.603-05:00Review: London Has Fallen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-WouuAvnPDQwIVHYZN6S4VSP9q1JZgWQuSjusmiZBHD4NtvxofPQTvmdPG6Ib24gqXmB1u1reLhrmAjAR676Jhk-4LcyAg9HV9D0TQYAFAP9qaBxeC_5kd6AZ7tf50AuYEc7eargRgow/s1600/LHF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-WouuAvnPDQwIVHYZN6S4VSP9q1JZgWQuSjusmiZBHD4NtvxofPQTvmdPG6Ib24gqXmB1u1reLhrmAjAR676Jhk-4LcyAg9HV9D0TQYAFAP9qaBxeC_5kd6AZ7tf50AuYEc7eargRgow/s400/LHF.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I do not own the above image. Copyright Gramercy Pictures. All Rights Reserved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike Banning
(Butler) is back as the lead Secret Service Agent for President Benjamin Asher
(Eckhart). Banning, with a wife at home
& baby on the way, wants to resign from his post. Those plans change as the British Prime
Minister has died under mysterious circumstances. Banning, Asher & Secret Service Director Lynne
Jacobs (Bassett) head to London with the world’s other major heads of state for
the funeral. Then all hell breaks loose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As some of
my long-time readers may remember, I didn’t like Antoine Fuqua’s 2013 predecessor
OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN. Well, Fuqua’s gone
& Iranian-Swedish director Babak Najafi is in the director’s chair. And he actually extracts most of the energy
the original had. A bulk of the initial
action sequence features generic helicopter shots of London landmarks being
blown up with some of the worst CGI special effects I’ve ever seen. To spend
money to sit in a theatre and watch Parliament & Westminster Abbey be
destroyed by sub-Sharknado effects is insulting. The eight (at least) different special
effects companies who worked on this movie could have used mismatched Legos as
the exploding buildings or helicopters and it would have looked more realistic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The screenplay
is even worse. Written by OHF writers Creighton
Rothenberger & Katrin Benedict and Christian Gudegast (A Man Apart) and
Chad St. John (first feature credit), LHF depends solely on the audience being
completely fine with extreme coincidences & the main villain not being on
the same continent as the action. So
many basic questions that should not be asked in a movie like this. First & foremost, why was the Prime
Minister’s funeral scheduled before the autopsy results released? Suspicious deaths don’t happen in this
universe apparently. How did the villain
know the Japanese PM would be stuck in traffic on London Bridge? Or that the Italian PM would take his
mistress on a self-guided tour of Westminster Abbey minutes before the funeral? Or that the French PM would sit on his boat
for an extra 10 minutes? Or that the US
President would escape his assassination attempt & would lead a car chase down
through London, which would require dozens of faceless, black motorbike
drivers? Or that his attack would cause
Londoners to immediately barricade themselves in their homes instead of
panicking in the streets?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The main
villain is supposed to be Aamir Barkawi, an illegal arms dealer who is the
target of a drone strike that kills his daughter on her wedding day &
severely injures his son & other associates in the first scene. Barkawi then spends the remainder of the
movie in an apartment in a random Middle East city in front of a laptop where
he taunts the Vice President & Cabinet a few times. In his place are his son & associate, who
also sit behind laptops until the opportune moment to kidnap the President so
he can fulfill the family’s ultimate goal: to kill the President live on the
internet & force the world to watch.
That’s one lofty goal, isn’t it?
The entire movie is that simple & uncomplicated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Butler
& Eckhart do their best to brighten the festivities with some witty banter
but there’s too little of it & they have no chemistry because Gerard Butler
is actually a wooden plank who was magically transformed into a real man. It also doesn’t help that Najafi doesn’t care
if the actors mumble their lines or if the bullets hitting the ground cause the
dialogue to be intelligible. The target
audience won’t care. Just keep blowing
stuff up and they’ll be happy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is
one element of LHF that sort of works: the opening action scene of the third
act is this long take of a long corridor where Butler has his way with everyone
who tries to kill him. That was
fun. The rest of LONDON HAS FALLEN is a jumbled
mess of bad everything: direction, writing, acting, special effects &
ticket buying. LHF should be the shining
example of what happens when the general movie-going audience goes to see a bad
movie in droves enough to warrant a sequel.
They got what they wanted & we suffer. Thanks for nothing!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
½*</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6895723761769788145.post-44868532041938327772016-03-04T12:15:00.000-05:002016-03-04T12:15:08.086-05:00Fantasy Box Office: March 4-6<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 699 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $67 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First new kids movie in six weeks is the new Disney animated
flick. Before you go off and
rubber-stamp a $75 million weekend, a little fact: Only two non-Pixar,
non-summer animated movies have hit $60 million opening weekend, THE LEGO MOVIE
and THE LORAX. ZOOTOPIA isn’t a known
commodity like those two so player beware.
But if DEADPOOL taught us anything, trends can be shattered.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LONDON HAS FALLEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 247 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $23.6 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sequel to the shocking 2012 hit has huge downsides &
upsides. OLYMPUS opened to $30+ million
but got mixed reviews & didn’t face competition like DEADPOOL so that
result is skewed. However, LONDON opens
in at least 200 more screens & is 24 minutes shorter, allowing for one more
showing per screen per day. I’m a little
optimistic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DEADPOOL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 201 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $17.113 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Its reign at #1 will end after three weekends. Some of its target audience may be taken away
by the previous movie in this piece but with the love this movie has received
by fanboys, they may come back for seconds or thirds this weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 106 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $9 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tina Fey means box office power right? Right?!
Not exactly. Fey hasn’t had a $15
million opening that didn’t involve Muppets since DATE NIGHT w/ Steve Carrell
six years ago. Here, she’s the lone star
& hits only 2300 theatres. Filler is
its only purpose this week, if at all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GODS OF EGYPT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 69 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $6.364 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A $14 million opening, $140 million budget, 14% on RT, ‘B-‘
Cinemascore and one pissed off filmmaker.
What else could go wrong for this movie?
How about a 55% drop?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
KUNG FU PANDA 3</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 65 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $5.784 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only is this not the newest animated movie in theatres,
it’s also not the best reviewed animated movie in theatres anymore. This could plummet or drop less if ZOOTOPIA’s
overflow go elsewhere in multiplexes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RISEN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 43 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $4.089 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We inch closer & closer to Easter and RISEN is still the
only Christian-themed movie in cinemas.
It may continue to reap the benefits for one more weekend. Enough to play? Maybe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE REVENANT</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 40 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.97 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Winner of three Academy Awards…but not the big one and it
will suffer the consequences because of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EDDIE THE EAGLE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 33 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.164 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A well-liked but under-watched inspirational sports
movie. Too bad he’s British. Has no legs in the States.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HOW TO BE SINGLE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 32 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.754 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Insert failed ‘ladies night’ joke here]</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TRIPLE 9</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 31 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $3.055 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Missed last week’s estimates by 50%. This weekend it’s underpriced & has a
great shot at winning the Bonus, as long as theatres don’t bury it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE WITCH</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 31 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.533 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A disaster of mammoth proportions on multiple levels. And now it loses over 1400 theatres. Ouch.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 27 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.8 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If a horror movie opens in 500 theatres with little fanfare
& no one shows up, does it exist?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RACE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 25 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $2.052 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inspirational true sports story holding on for dear
life. The theatre count kills it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
STAR WARS THE FORCE
AWAKENS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cost: 24 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate: $1.792 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Final weekend for the highest grossing movie of all time in
the United States. Will make a fine
theatre filler one last time, if necessary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>My Cineplex</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are
two types of realistic lineups this week: ZOOTOPIA with seven filler screens or
three LONDON HAS FALLEN screens w/ WTF & four fillers. ZOOTOPIA has a solid base but a little bit of
history against it. The reviews may not
be great but the target audience for LHF may not care. All that being said, I’m taking the safe
route, especially after the Thursday night numbers. Need to get off to a good start.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvURPz_5zF67PYO5uhPBGn2AYEN-KMnP_04Bik5pcash5yjBABVyPyZ2YzAoyvE_FfJetyDd1sGGsrz52rlsH49DpRiMC2_hasYIq1nyW_66FnaxN_HCbziLQdQQbHZ7Mzwu_h1IDLPTk/s1600/FML+Mar4-6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvURPz_5zF67PYO5uhPBGn2AYEN-KMnP_04Bik5pcash5yjBABVyPyZ2YzAoyvE_FfJetyDd1sGGsrz52rlsH49DpRiMC2_hasYIq1nyW_66FnaxN_HCbziLQdQQbHZ7Mzwu_h1IDLPTk/s320/FML+Mar4-6.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZOOTOPIA, WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT, TRIPLE 9 x6</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total Cost: 991 FML Bucks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Estimate After Bonus: $102.327 million</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As always,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Luck & Buy a Winning Ticket!</div>
Almost Film Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359767177318795017noreply@blogger.com0