Friday, December 30, 2011

Five Movies You Should Have Rented Instead of "Just Go With It"

                Yesterday, Redbox released their 2011 movie awards winners.  Basically, they honored all the movies that were rented the most.  Needless to say, they suck like a Dyson vacuum.  I bet I could go on forever about the whole lot (Kevin James, really!?!?), but one “award” in particular is extraordinarily disturbing.  The disastrously pathetic Sandler/Aniston “comedy” Just Go with It was the most rented movie of 2011 at Redbox kiosks.  It is at this point I await the pending Apocalypse and present the following list of 5 funny movies you should have rented.
Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Company.
5. The King’s Speech
                I know what you are thinking: But, A.F. Critic, what is funny about the future King of England overcoming a speech impediment to rally his country?  Well, curious reader, the funniest part was easily the fact that it won Best Picture this past year over The Social Network, Black Swan, Inception, Toy Story 3, (list continued in another post).  Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush are absolutely fantastic as the King & his speech therapist respectively and their chemistry is impeccable but everything else is anywhere from average to lackluster.  But it’s the Best Picture Oscar winner regardless plus anything is better than watching Sandler chase Brooklyn Decker in Hawaii or wherever the film is set.
Photo courtesy of Universal Pictures
4. Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World
                Michael Cera is his typical self in this mega-hyped and tragically under-seen hilarious ode to geek-dom.  Edgar Wright’s ridiculous attention to detail is the true highlight with the video game sound effects and the numerical symmetry with the exes.  Each of the fights is unique and most of them are fun to watch.  One or two the fights are a little off and the final 10-15 minutes don’t exactly fit correctly in the scheme of things.  But Scott Pilgrim reading the phone book is eons more entertaining than Sandler doing whatever the heck it is with Aniston.
Photo courtesy of Universal Pictures
3. Get Him to the Greek
                Another under-seen flick, this pseudo-sequel to the wonderful “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” follows Aldous Snow (Brand) as he is drug halfway around the world by record label underling Aaron (Hill).  Along the way, they learn the true meanings of life and love, not to mention having the craziest party with P. Diddy accompanied by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.  The light-hearted moments can get a little too much at times, but not nearly as false as just about every tender or warm moment in every Adam Sandler movie in existence.
Photo courtesy of Columbia Pictures
2. Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stopped Worrying and Love the Bomb
                It is at this point that I take a 90 degree turn to before most of us were born.  Let’s face it, comedy today is truly lacking any bite.  Most movies recently have been overhyped and unfunny *cough* “Bridesmaids” *cough* so let’s go back to the Cold War.
                Royal Air Force Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake (Sellers) has just learned of the plot by Brig. Gen. Ripper (Hayden) to start nuclear war with the Soviet Union.  President Merkin Muffley (Sellers) & Gen. Turgidson (Scott) led the American team of suits determined to stop the attack.  As the end grows nigh, Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, again), a former scientist for Nazi Germany, creates the dream scenario that appeals to all the men in the room.  What the audience is given is a 95 minute dark romp written & directed by Stanley Kubrick.  The laughs don’t start right away, but your patience is greatly rewarded, especially once the dear Dr. arrives.  “Dr. Strangelove” probably would have a similar budget to the average Sandler movie if made today, but the return on investment is much greater with the former.  Sandler tried smart comedy before but you could have cared less so the garbage will continue until further notice.
Photo courtesy of Warner Brothers
1. Blazing Saddles
                Back when a white guy could get away with racial humor, Mel Brooks created the town of Rock Ridge.  Then, Brooks created Hedy Lamarr (Hedley!), a stooge for the railroad industry trying to destroy the town for an easier route for trains.  How does he intend to do it: By appointing the son of freed slaves who works on the railroad as Mayor, invoking fear amongst the townspeople, causing them to flee and the town to be abandoned & destroyed.  The plan is flawless, right?  Right?
                Brooks creates a wondrous comedy that bucks, reinforces & ridicules stereotypes all at the same time.  The laugh rate after the opening credits is high but only gets higher as the movie goes on, climaxing in one of the most ludicrous & hilarious third acts that you will ever see. 

Equal parts offensive, hilarious & riveting, Blazing Saddles is the kind of movie Sandler would only dream of making.  Taking chances has never been his style, which is true for most actors out there actually.  But Sandler, after the failure of Punch Drunk Love & Funny People, seems to fully understand the wants & desires of his core audience.  For the foreseeable future, Sandler will continue down this path of below the bottom of the barrel humor that the Heartland (and a few of my dearest friends) will fall for hook, line & sinker everytime.  May God have mercy on us all.

*I do not own any of the photos above.  They are used for entertainment purposes only.*


  1. This blog will fail unless you make some changes in your entries.

    Yes, this is a blog and you are free to write however and on whatever you wish. But, when you involve the audience, you have to consider them.

    Who do you think you are to comment that the apocolyspe is soon because a lot of people rented "Just Go With It." You say it on the side of the blog, you are a "normal...9-5'er." Therefore, you have no authority to judge people on their taste of movies.

    But continuing with your film review style, it is very bland. There are more to movies then just the story and what you see on the screen. Mixing the film critic stance on a blog is a very difficult thing to accomplish. You CANNOT solely focus on the technicality of the movies. Do not explain the movies and the proceed to state, "it was good" or "it was bad" in a few paragraphs. That is not a BLOG.

    You have to connect to the movies and blog about the experiences. Bring some personality into your entries or this blog will fail.

    Also, please remember that everybody has guilty pleasure movies. People will go see bad movies to support their favorite actor or actress. Or even their favorite director or author.

    People watch movies for entertainment. Unfortanatly, most of people who watch movies only want something on the screen to watch and do not want something to think about. Please consider the majority of these people in your posts for they will probably be the majority of your readers.

    And again, write with more personality. That is what blogging is all about. Focus on more than just the story, and bring out that nostalgia and this blog can be successful.

    I only wish to give you constructive criticism. I am sure you are thinking and will probably comment with, "if you do not like it, you do not have to read it." And that is acceptable. But, is that what you want to happen with everybody?

    Good luck!

  2. I unfortunately was one who so agree with you. Movies now are becoming more bland and some are just stupid. I love reading this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Keep true to yours. Nicky