Saturday, March 12, 2016

Review : The Brothers Grimsby

            Remember when Sacha Baron Cohen used to be someone who was a joy to watch?  Da Ali G Show was a sensation a decade ago & his 2006 comedy BORAT is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  He’s had supporting roles in other movies but nothing has reached the heights as that.  But now, Cohen seems to have hit rock bottom.
            Cohen plays Nobby, a poor, uneducated father of 11 in the poor fishing town of Grimsby, pining for the day he is reunited with his little brother who was adopted after their parents died.  Following a tip, Nobby finds Sebastian (Strong), an assassin for a secretive arm of MI6, & promptly makes him an international fugitive.
            Before I go off on a tangent & give this movie the beat down it deserves, I want to make clear that there are some laughs here.  I genuinely laughed six times in 85 minutes, including twice where my wife & I were the only people in the theatre laughing.  I guess the target audience would have no clue what Chernobyl & Manchester United are.
            The rest of the movie, written by Cohen, Phil Johnston & Peter Baynham, is truly repugnant.  I shouldn’t do this but I really, really don’t want you to see movie but I’m going to list a bunch of the attempts of humor & you let me know if any of these are funny: Rebel Wilson queefing, faking Leukemia for welfare checks, wrapping a pool in a condom & hit a SWAT team member in the balls, watch an AIDS sufferer get shot in the shoulder & have blood splatter enter a fake Daniel Radcliffe’s mouth, an Oscar nominee being seduced in a case of mistaken identity, sucking venom out of your brother’s testicle.  I’ll just stop there.  I can’t stand to think about things I can’t unsee.
            The cast astonishes me.  What in the world is Oscar winner Penelope Cruz doing in this junk?  After this & ZOOLANDER 2, she may want to rethink her representation.  Mark Strong had a great supporting role last year in KINGSMEN.  I understand he deserves a chance to be the lead in a spy movie, but he deserves something better than this.  Ian McShane is the head of the spy organization & has about five lines.  I’m curious as to what was cut & just how bad it was to make this movie only 83 minutes long.
            I understand I might have grown out of this type of comedy and that this movie is not for me.  But I honestly question anyone who finds absolute joy in sitting in a theatre & watching two grown men sitting inside an elephant’s ovulating vagina as it gets penetrated by multiple male elephants.  Just pathetic.


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